Can We Keep Her?
by kaya lizzie
Summary: After rescuing a woman, Mike & Don explore the reasons why keeping her isn't a good idea. Tied for 2nd place for Best Comedy in 2005 TMNT Fanfic Competition! Complete!
1. Death of a can opener

Title: Can We Keep Her?

Author: kaya lizzie

Category: Humor, Rating: K+ (just in case)

Summary: After rescuing a woman, Mike & Don explore the reasons why "keeping" her isn't a good idea.

Disclaimer: I do not receive money for this (sigh) so don't sue me. If you recognize them, I don't own them, I own the storyline only. However, in the unlikely event that I do acquire the TMNT, the first round of drinks are on me……

Hello good people of TMNT fandom! This is my first fic (a short shot), so please, be gentle! All reviews/constructed criticism welcome. A big thanks to my fellow TMNT addict, Sassyblondexoxo, for gently putting a fire under my rear to get it in gear. Thanks Sassy and I'll see you at our next "meeting"! Other TMNT addicts are welcome to join us, ha!

_Italics are character's thoughts_. In case you don't notice (ha ha), I like to space my writing out. I find that it makes it easier to read.

**Chapter 1: Death of a Can Opener**

Mike and Don thought that this night was to be like the past few ones…..boring and uneventful. Ever since Splinter, Leo and Raph headed off to the farmhouse a few days ago to have a private "retreat," they found that holding down the fort to be more tedious than they expected. Actually, it was more Mike than Don that thought that. Mike missed annoying Raph, sparring with Leo, and trying the patience of Splinter. Almost being completely alone didn't suit him, and poor Don was about to find out just how much Mike was missing "business as usual."

Mike began the evening by watching TV, but he found himself glancing towards Don's room every few minutes.

_What the heck is he doin' in there?_

Mike's urge for attention was getting the better of him. The cartoon he was watching was beginning to lose its luster, and without thinking twice, Mike hopped off the couch and headed to Don's room.

"Heeeeeeeyyyyy Donnie, whatcha doin'?" Mike sang in a nursery rhyme melody that would irk even Mother Goose.

Don heard the merry little voice from within his room and cringed. Looking up from his book, he sighed as he studied the broken contraption in front of him.

_Oh boy, I'll never get this thing fixed now._

Don frowned as he put down his book, and began pulling screws out of the back of the instrument of his attention. He resolved to figure out what was wrong with it, even if it meant that his patience would be tested with Mike's interruption.

Mike crept around the corner and waited for a response, but got none. He found Don with his head buried in a big "How To" book, clearly trying to ignore him. Mike grinned.

"Whatcha readin' bro?

"How to Get Rid of Your Nagging Brother in 5 Minutes or Less," came the flat reply.

Mike frowned. "Nah uh, the cover says…." Mike struggled to read the title that was hidden under his brother's thick finger, "How to Repair Household App..appli..uh…"

"..Appliances." Don completed, feeling a slight rise in his blood pressure.

"Yeah, what you said."

Mike waited for Don to explain further, but Don continued to read on as if he wasn't there. Mike's curiosity got the better of him, and so he continued.

"So, uh, what kind of app…ap...uh...thingy are ya fixin'?"

Don stopped reading and looked at Mike like he just swallowed a roach.

"Mikey, don't you know an electric can opener when you see one?" he said exasperated, pointing it out on the table in front of him.

Honestly, Mike hadn't even noticed, his attention was focused on trying to get Don to talk to him. Mike glimpsed briefly at the can opener and passed his hand over his head as he grinned sheepishly.

"Duh, sorry bro."

Don rolled his eyes and snorted. He looked back down at the book and continued reading. It was painfully clear to Mike that he was trying to ignore him, but he was determined that it wasn't going to be possible, not now anyway. Time to bring out the ammo that only Mike possessed…..persistent aggravation.

_Ignore me, will you. Ha, you don't stand a chance Donnie boy._

Mike rushed over to Don's side and grabbed his arm frantically.

"Pleeeeeease can we go out for pizza, pleeeeeease….." Mike pleaded.

The sudden jolt caused the thick book to be jarred out of Don's hands, and with one quick motion, fell against the poor can opener. Knocking it backwards, the impact caused internal pieces of the can opener to fly in all directions, littering Don's desk with the "guts" of the unfortunate casualty.

Mike let go of Don's arm, and with mouth gaping open, turned to view his handiwork of destruction.

_Uh oh._

Don took a quick glance at what was once a can opener and glared at Mike.

"Wow Mikey, you broke your record..." Don paused and looked at his clock, "…two minutes in my room and you've already broken something."

"What was my previous record?" Mike asked with a nervous grin.

"Three minutes," Don said, still glaring at Mike. He continued, "You've just taken what could have been a half day's project to several days, and that's IF I'm lucky enough to be able to salvage the thing. I should seriously pound you for this Mikey."

"No pounding from you, bro, that's Raph's job," Mike said matter-of-factly.

"Yeah well, Raph's not here," Don pointed out.

Mike looked at Don defiantly, shaking his head and crossing his arms.

"Uh uh, no way dude, only Raphie can pound me."

"If Raph knew you were calling him that, he'd pound you for sure."

"Yeah, but he's not here, so what Raphie doesn't know, won't …uh…how's that go again?" Mike scratched his head.

Don sighed, lacking the energy to argue. "Whatever."

After surveying the destruction, Don realized that he was too disgusted to try and revive the can opener now. Casting a dirty look at Mike, he got up and headed towards the coat rack. Mike's eyes lit up when he saw Don reach for a trench coat. With a speed that a roadrunner would have envied, Mike was at Don's side once again, bouncing around like a wind up toy on a Christmas morning.

"Ooooooh, we're gonna get pizza, right Donnie? Huh, are we? Are we? Tell me we're gonna?"

Without warning, Don quickly turned to Mike and grabbed him by the throat, slamming him against the wall. Mike's shell made a sickening thud sound as it hit the bricks. Mike stood silently, not daring to speak or move.

Don took a few deep breaths, and when he realized what he just did, he swallowed hard and let go of Mike.

"Mikey," Don gasped, "you are seriously testing my patience. Please calm down before I do something we'll both be sorry for."

Mike rubbed his throat and stared unbelieving at Don.

"Dude, you've been hanging around Raph too long, maybe you shoulda gone with him to cool down at the farmhouse," Mike said crossly.

"And maybe I should find you some Ritalin before you drive me crazy," Don retorted in the same tone.

Mike folded his arms again and pouted…..well, as much as someone with no lips can pout.

"So, are we gonna get some pizza or what?" he asked in a huff.

Don took some more breaths, trying to cool his blood down some more. He was still in shock at what he just did.

"Yeah Mikey, let's go get some pizza. I'll let you pick the toppings."

Mike immediately perked up and gasped, "Really?"

Don began to climb the ladder. "Yeah, as long as you don't put too much craziness on it."

Mike finished adorning himself with his own trench coat and hat and soon followed Don up the ladder.

"Awww," Mike whined, "I was really looking forward to a grape jelly and cabbage pizza."

Don looked down at Mike and almost choked on the sudden surge of bile in his throat.

"Not funny Mikey," he spluttered.

Mike chuckled as he looked up to see the disgusted look on Don's face.

"Aw yeah bro, mondo funny."

A/N: Whew, this was 5 hand written pages, but it sure doesn't seem like it when I typed it.

Don't forget to review folks! Chapter 2 is in the works! Thanks for reading!


	2. The Art of Pizza Perfection

See Chapter 1 for disclaimer….it still applies. sigh The margaritas are watering down for want of drinking. Ack! Oh the humanity, those poor margaritas are just sitting there and here I am helpless to do anything about it!

Thanks to my lovely reviewers: Sassyblondexoxo, Reinbeauchaser, Reluctant Dragon and Pacphys. It warms my heart to know that y'all gave me a chance and liked my ramblings. Your checks are in the mail!

BTW: The spellings of the pizza guy's (and Mike's) talk are not typos, it's my feeble attempt to indicate an accent that I think is soooooo sexy.

_Italics are character's thoughts._

So without further ado, onto Chapter 2!

* * *

**Chapter 2: The Art of Pizza Perfection**

"Ya want WHAT on ya pizza?" the man behind the counter asked Mike in a rough Brooklyn accent.

Mike grinned at the man underneath the safe shadow of his fedora hat.

_Geez, slap a layer of green on ya and add a shell, and you could pass as Raph._

Mike ignored the urge to tell the man that he sounded like his green mutant brother and repeated his request instead.

"Yeah, I want grape jelly and cabbage on my pizza, that's what I said," he beamed while trying not to burst into a giggling fit. The odds of the pizza parlor actually having such "toppings" were slim and none, but Mike was trying to have some fun. Hanging around Don was starting to become a drag, not to mention dangerous. Mike passed a hand over his still tender throat, coughing lightly at the touch.

The man was speechless at the request, and after shaking his head in disbelief, disappeared behind the kitchen door while mumbling to himself, "In all tha' years I've been makin' pizza, I neva'……"

Don stood silently behind Mike, completely oblivious to what Mike was saying or doing. He was too preoccupied with throwing worried glances around the room and musing over the situation. He didn't like being in an open, lighted facility….even at night. Their very presence in such an environment exposed them to curious eyes, and the old fedora hats and torn trench coats brought even more unwanted attention.

_We are ninjas, and ninjas are not supposed to be seen._

Don frowned and continued to "ride" his Train of Thought.

_Of course it's kind of hard to order pizza in a pizza parlor while trying to practice the art of invisibility._

This logical reasoning brought Don no comfort, he was still very nervous. He snapped out of his worried trance and looked up at Mike.

"Hurry up and order so we can get out of this light," he muttered over Mike's shoulder.

Mike turned his head slightly and muttered back, "Chill dude, pizza perfection takes time."

Don's face clouded over as he replied, "If that's the case, we'll be here till the underworld opens a winter ski resort, so hurry up."

Mike stuck his tongue out at his brother, and turned around just in time to see the bewildered pizza man emerge from the kitchen. He smiled weakly at Mike and scratched his head nervously.

"Uh, well, those toppins' ain't on tha' regular menu, but I think we can fix ya up."

Mike stood there, equally bewildered. He never had a pizza quite like this before. He mused over the situation….

_Grape jelly and cabbage…the final frontier…to boldly go where no pizza has gone before. Eh, what the heck, a pizza is a pizza…_

Mike looked up at the man and smiled again.

"Great, sign me up, dude!"

The man felt the urge to puke, but smiled weakly instead.

_Where do these freakish people come from?_

"Okay buddy, grape jelly and cabbage it is."

Mike stole a triumphant glance at Don, who, like the pizza man, was also trying to hold down the bile.

"Uh, what was that you were sayin' about ski resorts, Don?

Don grumbled and pushed past Mike to face the half sick pizza man. Mike tucked his head to keep from giggling too loud.

The man eyed Don suspiciously, and tried to prepare himself for what he thought was to be an equally nauseating request.

"We were going to eat the same pizza, but I'm not going to wreck my system with such 'toppings.'" The man held his breath as Don continued, "You have to split the pizza. I want pepperoni and Italian sausage on my half."

The man stood, blinking his eyes in disbelief as if he just heard the Choir Invisible sing "Hallelujah."

"Thas' it?" the man gasped, clearly disappointed, "Jus' pepperoni and Italian sausage? Ya sure ya don' want kumquats and peanut butter?"

Mike bent over howling at the kumquats and peanut butter idea, but Don felt the cursed bile rise once again to his throat. He had to cough to clear his throat before he could reaffirm his request.

"Yeah, that's it. Just pepperoni and Italian sausage," he said flatly as he elbowed Mike in the plastron to silence the howling.

The man smirked, and after taking the money from the teary-eyed Mike, waved at them as if he was shooing away pigeons. If only he knew what he was truly waving at, his night might have been more interesting, for surely it would have topped a grape jelly and cabbage pizza on the "interest" scale.

"Have a seat boys, I'll bring it out ta ya when it's done."

Don headed for the far corner of the parlor with Mike following close behind. The booth was dark, thanks to the light overhead being burned out. Don smiled to himself, feeling some of the worry melt away.

_Perfect. Out of sight, out of mind._

* * *

Mike stretched back in the booth, trying to find relief from his bloated stomach. Not only did he manage to consume his half of the pizza, but he was also working on eating the majority of Don's half too. Don managed to eat one whole piece of pizza, in between the gagging, that is. He found that the only way he could eat was to repeat the mantra in his head:

_Bite. Chew. Swallow. Pause for gagging._

_Bite. Chew. Swallow_. _Pause for even more gagging._

He lifted the second piece to take a bite, but when he saw Mike licking off some of the grape jelly from the pan, he had enough. He clutched at his stomach, praying that he could will the contents to remain within. Mike noticed the movement, and looked up at Don with amusement.

"What's the matter bro, lost yer appetite?"

Don's hand flew to his mouth as a new wave of nausea swept over him.

"Mikey, how could you eat that stuff?" he muttered weakly under his hand.

Mike leaned back in his seat, putting his hands behind his head in gluttonous satisfaction.

"Easy, I just put it in my mouth and chew," Mike said, smiling at his own wit.

Don's eyes narrowed.

"If there's any justice in this world for me, you'll be making a hasty trip to the toilet tonight."

Mike laughed and shook his head.

"Nah dude, I got a system made of steel, this won't even phase me."

Don was about to reply, when a rowdy crowd of teenagers bursting into the parlor interrupted his thoughts.

Don got up and grabbed Mike by the arm.

"Come on Mikey, it's time to make like ninjas."

Groaning, Mike got up slowly and grabbed at his stomach.

"I'd like to make like a ninja, but my stomach is too big to be invisible."

Don pulled Mike up to himself, feeling the same wave of impatience come over him as it did when he threw Mike against the wall.

"We can't let those kids see us, we have to leave NOW," Don hissed in Mike's face.

Mike felt the fine drops of Don's saliva land on the top of his beak. He knew Don meant business, but decided to try and calm him down with a little humor.

"Geez bro, say it, don't spray it." Don's face contorted, and Mike stopped him before he could hiss at him again, holding his hands up in Don's face in defeat, "Okay okay, let's get outta here, I heard ya."

Don released his grip and turned around to head out the side door. Mike sighed and grabbed at his stomach again before escaping silently through the side door as well. The teenagers were too busy ordering their pizzas and cutting up with each other to notice the two strange figures disappearing into the night…..

* * *

A/N: Whew boy, did I struggle to put and end on this one. I wanted to take the story a little further and leave y'all with a cliffe (because I'm evil like that), but this was all I had written, and it's after 9 PM. I'm typing this at my job, so needless to say, I'm ready to wrap up and go home. Can ya blame me? The 3rd Chapter may take a little while longer, because I haven't even started to write it yet, so please be patient with me. Oh yeah, and being a perfectionist doesn't help either.

Thanks for visiting my little tale again and don't forget to review folks!


	3. A Sliver of Silver

See Chapter 1 for disclaimer, it still applies (sigh) The bartender got mad at me and threw away the margaritas….what a waste. There goes your tip, buddy!

DUN DUN DUN…..Well, here is the chapter you've all been waiting for! The rescue is finally here! Yes people, the illusive woman finally decides to make her appearance. The discussion about keeping her should come up real soon, but not until the next chapter….or will it? Sorry! You'll just have to come back and read some more, won't you? Bwaaaahaaaahaaa!

Thanks again to my lovely reviewers: Pacphys, Becca T, Chibi Rose Angel, Reinbeauchaser, Lunar-Ninja and Sassyblondexoxo. You people make me smile with your great reviews. I hope I can continue to earn them. :)

_Italics are character's thoughts. _BTW: Mike's nunchakus will be referred to in my story simply as 'chucks'….and in case there are some of you that don't know, shuriken are throwing stars. They come in real handy when you have to throw a weapon at something or someone, so they keep you from losing your personal weapon(s) in the process. They are cheaper and easier to replace than say…..a sai. There is more Brooklyn accent making its appearance in this chapter, so don't chide me for what you might mistake for misspelling. It's done on purpose, people. :)

* * *

**Chapter 3: A Sliver of Silver**

The men practically looked like a pack of rabid dogs about to pounce on a helpless, cornered cat. The looks on their faces came straight from the bowels of Hades: disgusting smirks, accented by drool and dancing, devilish eyes. Samantha knew she was in trouble. She stared at the five goons that had her surrounded and began to assess the situation, her brow furrowing in thought. Her stomach turned as she mulled over the harsh reality….they demanded her purse, but she knew that it wasn't all they wanted.

Samantha was anything but a wuss, she was straight out of Brooklyn, and had been in her fair share of fights while defending herself against muggers and would-be rapists. Although she had taken a couple of licks while defending herself, she had also sent some of her attackers limping away in defeat. But this time was a little different; she had never been in a fight when it was 5 to 1. As much as she wanted to teach the goons a lesson, she decided that she really didn't want to be kissing the concrete after getting her rear kicked up and down the street.

She could live without her purse; she had lots of them at home. After looking at her purse once more, she threw it at one of the men. He caught it, and with an evil grin, began to rummage for money. The purse in his possession momentarily distracted the others as well. She was thankful for their greed, and she didn't hesitate to take advantage of it. Without a word, she turned away from them in an attempt to sprint to safety, but was stopped abruptly by a strong, greasy hand grabbing her by the arm. The man spun her around to face him, pulling her close……… a lot closer than she wanted to be. It was then that she got a nauseous whiff of him, which caused her to gag. He smelled like he hadn't seen a shower in weeks and he must have never been blessed with the miracle of a deodorant stick either.

"Hold up sweetheart, we're not done with ya jus' yet," the man sneered at her. "Ya got som'thin' else we want." His gritty smile revealed yellow teeth that were spaced out by the lack of a full set. She closed her eyes at the sight, and began breathing from her mouth, for fear of puking if she continued to smell his stench. Her mind began racing, trying to remember her other attacks, and what she did to get out of them without getting too banged up.

_Think, stupid, what can ya do to get outta this one too?_

Snapping back to reality, she managed to get her thoughts together. Her mind kept lingering on the same fact: the man pulled her to himself; their bodies were flush with each other. She opened her eyes and smiled.

_Oooooohhhhh yeeeeeeaaaaah, ya gonna SO wish ya neva' laid eyes on me, creep._

The man noticed her smile, and mistaking it for her welcoming his "charm," bent his head down in an attempt to kiss her. However, a knee implanting itself harshly between his legs interrupted him. The man's eyes went wide and he let out a scream that could rival Mariah Carey's vocal ability. His grip on her arms loosened as he crumpled to his knees, clutching what was left of his groin area.

_RUN! RUN! RUN!_

If he was the only attacker, she would have stayed there and laughed at his stupidity, but there were four other goons besides Mr. Numbness, and for the moment, they were all stupefied at what just happened. She didn't waste any time. Kicking off her four-inch stilettos, she ran like mad through the alley, praying that she could lose the goons in the nightlife of the city.

* * *

"Come on Mikey, let's just walk a little longer," Don pleaded as Mike was making his way to the nearby manhole in the alley.

Mike grabbed at his stomach, which was still bloated from his over-indulgence. There was no way he was going to tell Don that his stomach was doing flips, and the necessity for the use of a toilet was drawing dangerously near.

_There's no way in the world that I'm gonna let him tell me "I told ya so."_

Mike smiled weakly at his brother and said, "Okay bro, whatever you say."

Mike reluctantly walked back over to Don's side, and they continued to walk down the street. While Mike had increasingly desperate reasons to return to the lair, Don had no interest in going home anytime soon. There was a cool breeze refreshing the city, and the full moon was casting her light upon the street, engulfing all with a soft glow. Don breathed in deeply to take in the coolness, but coughed abruptly as his lungs protested the not-so-healthy air.

"Gotta love New York City air," Don remarked between coughs.

Mike looked at his brother and grinned.

"Don't breathe it in too deeply bro, ya might get lung cancer or something."

Don frowned and replied, "Thanks for the tip Mikey, you always have a wonderful way of pointing out the positive things in life."

Mike's Cheshire cat smile remained as he replied, "No prob, bro."

It didn't take long for the smile to fade away, however. Mike clutched at his stomach again as another wave of unpleasantness washed over him.

_Crud, this pressure is about to kill me. I gotta get home soon before I have a mondo blowout._

Mike grabbed at Don's arm. "Ooooookay bro, let's get you home before you breathe in some more nasty air." He began tugging Don to the nearest ally to find a manhole.

Don stopped and eyed Mike suspiciously.

"Mikey, why do I get the impression that you're in a rush to get home?"

Mike stopped, unsure of what to say. He fumbled for the words.

"Uh, no rush, just, um…. lookin' out for ya bro," he said innocently.

It was Don's turn to grin now.

"Yeah right Mikey." He studied Mike's face and finally recognized the look of a desperate turtle in need of some "study time" in the bathroom. Don's grin grew even wider. "Your grape jelly and cabbage pizza is tearing up your system, isn't it?" Mike blinked at him, not knowing how to reply.

Without warning, Mike's arm was roughly torn off of Don's as a frantic woman ran in between them. Their bodies slowed her momentum, and it caused her to take a dive for the concrete. She tumbled forward, catching herself with her hands, and managed to turn the unceremonious fall into an impressive roll. Not missing a beat, she jumped up and continued to run barefooted down the street, but not without yelling over her shoulder, "Pardon me, comin' through!"

Mike rubbed his throbbing arm and looked at Don.

"Dude, did you just see that?"

Don watched as she turned quickly into the alley that Mike was trying to lure him to.

"Yeah, she did a pretty good tuck and roll there, didn't see?"

Mike and Don were soon overcome by a rush of four guys, who ran around them screaming, "Move it, ya bunch a' idiots!" The turtles watched as they turned the corner and ran into the same alley that the woman ran into only moments before.

Don scratched his head through his fedora hat.

"Hey Mikey, isn't that alley blocked by a wooden fence?"

"Yeah," Mike replied, "and it's real tall, I doubt that dudette can climb over it." Mike's eyes grew wide as he came to the realization of the situation. "Dude, we've got to uh, go to her rescue, just like when we rescued April!"

Don smiled as he glanced at the ladder that led up the side of the building and onto the roof, "Yeah, I was hoping we would have a reason to workout tonight."

* * *

The turtles sat quietly on top of the closed dumpster after removing their coats and hats. Mike looked though a small hole in the fence, cradling his chucks in hand while Don silently removed his bo from its sheath on his back. Mike watched the woman pacing madly in front of the fence, and heard little gasps of frustration escape from her lips. She must have been studying it for a way to get over it. Without success, she finally turned her back to the fence as she looked on at the four goons who were walking slowly towards her.

Mike turned to Don, his eyes dancing like a 3 year old on a sugar high, "So when do we like, go ninja on em', dude?"

"What's going on over there? Where is everybody positioned?" Don asked.

Mike looked through the hole again. "The dudette is almost leaning against the fence, and the dudes are standing about 6 feet away from her, forming a semi-circle."

Don's face furrowed in thought as he tried to come up with a strategy.

_Where's Leo when I need him? This is his job to come up with a plan, not mine. Come on Don…THINK….it's not like you're trying to rebuild an 18 wheeler engine here._

Don sighed as he was beginning to get aggravated with himself. He began tapping a finger to his head absently, trying to squeeze a plan out of his noggin. Suddenly, his head popped up in excitement as he remembered what Mike said earlier…

"Dude, we've got to uh, go to her rescue, just like when we rescued April!"

_Just like when we rescued April…_

"Mikey, can you see where the light source is coming from on the other side of the fence?"

Mike looked through the hole again.

"Yeah, there's a street light on the building to the left of us."

Don grinned. "Good, do you think you could knock it out with a shuriken?"

Mike returned the grin, "Does like, Raph have a temper?"

They snapped out of the conversation when they heard a noise coming from the other side of the fence. Mike looked through the hole as he dug in his belt for a shuriken.

One of the men stepped forward, pounding one of his fists into the open palm of his other hand repeatedly.

"So ya like ta fight, huh? We like it when broads play hard to get," the man sneered.

Samantha stared the man down, trying not to lose her courage. She allowed an evil grin to cross her face, and she poked her chin out at them in defiance.

"Yeah, thas' right boys, I'm a rough broad. Born an' bred in Brooklyn. I got plenty more groin kickin' where that came from. Jus'step up, I got enough for all of ya." She stuck out a hand and made a motion for the man to step up.

The man threw his head back and let out a dramatic, evil laugh. Samantha frowned at him.

_Geez, this loser's been watchin' too many pirate movies._

"Well boys, looks like we got a live wire here," he grinned as he looked at his cronies around him. "We oughtta have a good time wit' this one."

He threw his arms out at the others, signaling them to stay back. He wanted to have a go at her first.

Samantha narrowed her eyes at the man. She shifted her weight and leaned back, her adrenaline shooting through her veins with enough force to send her to the moon. She could feel the hair rising on the back of her neck, and her body broke out in a prickly sweat. She was ready.

_This is it, it's do or die, and I ain't goin' down without a fight!"_

The man stepped forward but stopped when she let out a scream. She took a step back and suddenly ran at him with incredible speed. When she was about 2 feet away from him, she sprang up and threw her leg at him with the intention of kicking him in the stomach. To her dismay, the man anticipated her move, and grabbed her leg in mid air with both hands. With a firm grip, he stepped sideways still holding her leg, and swung her around in the air, finally letting her go in the direction of one of the brick buildings. She screamed as she saw the bricks getting closer and closer. She held out her hands to try to deflect the impact, but to no avail. Her arms crumpled under the force and she hit the building with a thud, silencing her scream. She slumped down in a heap, blood trickling from the side of her head.

A sliver of silver flew overhead, reflecting a few rays of the soft moonlight as it traveled, and finally crashed accurately into the light, throwing everyone into almost complete darkness. The men began to look around blindly to try and find each other's positions, and muttered amongst themselves "What tha' heck was that?"

Two battle cries rose from behind the fence, and suddenly the men found themselves face to face with unknown attackers. Don hit the ground first, and flipped repeatedly until he was directly in front of his two enemies. Wasting no time, he swung his bo at the two men, knocking them down instantly. Their heads hit the ground with a thud and they were out for the count. Don rubbed his hands together in satisfaction.

_Well, that was easy enough._

Mike, however, had barely cleared the jump over the fence, thanks to his still swollen belly. When he hit the ground, he let out an audible groan, and slowly made his way over to his foes and began swinging his chucks at them.

_Man, I hope I don't have an accident fightin' these dudes. Better just take my time._

He swung at the first man, hitting him in the head with accuracy, as the man let out a yelp and crashed to the ground. The other man was prepared for Mike, he could hear the swooshing of the chucks in the air, and so he crouched on the ground as Mike swung his weapons in his direction. When Mike didn't hear the anticipated yelp, he stopped to hear if the man took off. The man could hear Mike shuffling in place, and with a guess, threw out his fist in Mike's direction, knocking him in the stomach. Mike doubled over and let out another groan, dropping his weapons and patting his stomach in pain. The man let out a laugh, and was about to strike again, when Don came from behind and struck him in the head. He fell over in an unconscious heap with the others.

Mike stood still, groaning for his upset stomach.

Don came over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey Mikey, you okay?"

Mike straightened up, trying to banish the pain away for the moment.

"Uh, yeah dude, but I'll feel better when we get home."

Don leaned down to gather up Mike's chucks and tucked them in Mike's belt.

"Hey, thanks bro." Mike turned around and looked in the direction of the woman.

"So, uh, what do we do with the dudette, bro? Surely we can't just leave her here," he said innocently.

Don frowned as he scratched his head.

"Uh, yeah, well…we can't leave her here," he sighed and continued, "I guess we don't have a choice, we have to take her home and tend to her wounds."

Mike squealed like a little girl and began dancing around like a circus clown on crack.

"Ooooohhhh yeaaaaah, we-get-to-take-a-girl-home-with-us, we-get-to-take-a-girl-home- with-us," he sang in that same nursery rhyme melody that Don was treated to earlier in the evening.

Don passed a hand over his head, feeling the beginning of a migraine start to attack his brain.

_This is going to be a loooooooong night, I can just see it. Maybe I ought to kill myself now and save myself from this misery._

Mike's celebration came to a halt when he felt another stab of pain in his intestines. Samantha wasn't the only one who was determined to go down without a fight. The grape jelly and cabbage pizza was tired of toying with Mike's system; it was going for the kill now. Mike ceased the singing and made a beeline for the manhole, clutching his stomach.

Don turned to look at Mike as he bent down to pick up the still unconscious Samantha.

"Uh Mike, since you're the one that's so excited about taking her home, why don't you give me a hand in picking her up?"

Mike lifted the manhole cover and stood beside it.

_If I try to pick her up, I WILL not make it to the lair._

Mike smiled nervously at Don, who was still crouching next to Samantha.

"Uh, I'll let you do the honors, Donnie boy. I'll man the manhole cover!"

Don snorted, and with one effort, lifted the woman up in his arms and headed over to the manhole. As he passed close to Mike, he noticed that he had broken into a sweat, and began to display what looked like the pee-pee dance. Mike was in some definite pain.

Don smiled to himself in secret satisfaction.

_So, there IS justice for me after all._

After Don managed to make it down the ladder, Mike wasted no time in following.

The manhole cover fell back into place, and the turtles made their way back to the lair in silence. Well, at least for the first part of the way….

Don was finding it hard to remain silent. He had to continue to bite his tongue to keep from bursting out laughing as he pondered what Mike must have been feeling at that point. An evil thought crawled from the dark corner of his mind and made it's way to the center of his thought processes, and he couldn't resist getting some revenge.

"Hey Mike, I didn't get a chance to tell you earlier, but the toilet's broken," he said, almost losing his composure.

Mike stopped dead in his tracks, staring unbelieving at Don.

"No way dude, what's wrong with it?"

The desperation in Mike's voice was to die for. Don almost let out a snort, and had to take a breath before he continued.

"Uh, there's a crack in the pipe. I just saw it this afternoon. If we tried to use it one more time, it would burst."

Don busted out laughing when he saw the crestfallen look on Mike's face.

Mike realized the farce and continued to walk, pouting as he went along.

"Dude, that's SO not funny," he muttered.

Don couldn't resist. Trying his best to imitate his brother's lingo, he declared with a smile, "Aw yeah bro, mondo funny!"

Revenge was sweet.

* * *

A/N: Well, would you look at that? I'm typing this in Microsoft Word, and it says I'm on page 9! Not bad for 2 days work typing away on the computer. This chapter came out not quite as I had in mind, but I guess it will have to do. I rewrote the very beginning and the very end several times now, and I'm getting tired of tinkering with it. Cursed perfectionism! I hope y'all enjoy it and don't think that it's a piece of poop. Speaking of poop, I tried not to let it get too crude with Mike's bodily problem….it's fun to joke about it, but not very fun when it gets too graphic. Hope I didn't gross y'all out too bad. Sorry if I did!

Chapter 4 is coming up, so come back again, ya hear?

Thanks for reading and don't forget to review!


	4. Toilet & Telephone Conversations

**EDITED 7/25/05. IN KEEPING WITH THE RULES OF THIS WEBSITE, I REMOVED LYRICS FROM THIS CHAPTER AND ALSO MADE MINOR CHANGES. THANKS TO LUNAR-NINJA FOR WATCHING MY BACK AND KEEPING ME OUT OF TROUBLE. YOU'RE THE BEST, BABE!….AND TO REINBEAUCHASER TOO FOR THE CONFIRMATION!**

See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer….it still applies. At this rate, the underworld will indeed open a winter ski resort before I will ever own the TMNT. However, the bum-kickin' Samantha is mine, mine, mine!

Thanks to all of my readers that took the time to leave a review: **Becca-T, Lunar-Ninja, Chibi Rose Angel, Sassyblondexoxo, Pacphys, Reluctant Dragon and Moonie016.**

You guys are the best….and for all of you that read and didn't leave a review…..phoey on you! Just kidding. Please review when you read someone's stuff. It let's them know that they aren't just writing for their health. I like to know people enjoy my stuff! Even if you don't like it, I'd still like to know, too!

Fun fact for the day: After a very lengthy list of names, I chose the name Samantha for my OC after the vocalist Samantha Fox. I think her name is cool. The name Samantha has also been a personal favorite of mine since childhood.

BTW: Things are going to get crude in this chappie. Mike finally gets a hold of the toilet and so…well, use your imagination. Sorry if it's gross. Blame Mike and his erratic choice of pizza toppings. Betcha he won't eat grape jelly and cabbage pizza again!

_Italics are characters thoughts_

Well, enough blabbing, onto the story!

* * *

**Chapter 4: Toilet and Telephone Conversations**

Mike grunted as he lifted the manhole that covered the entrance to the lair. He paused and looked up at Don, who stood there weakly while barely holding Samantha in his cramped arms. The humor of Mike's desperate predicament was long gone; Don was now in some serious discomfort himself. He was covered in a heavy sweat and was panting like a dog. His arms cried out for release from the burden of Samantha; carrying dead weight for two miles was anything but refreshing. It didn't help that Samantha almost weighed as much as he did. He had secretly wished that Raph were here. He would have been able to carry her without even a pant, because that was his specialty…strength. Don's was, well…fixing stuff. Carrying people around for great distances with ease was not on his resume.

Don's tired expression turned to one of annoyance when he noticed Mike grinning at Samantha in his aching arms.

"Thanks for the help, Mikey. I really enjoyed carrying her all this way by myself," Don hissed between gasps for breath.

Mike shrugged his shoulders and giggled.

"Dude, weren't you the one that said something about looking forward to a workout tonight? Better be careful what you wish for next time, bro."

Before he could respond to Mike's lack of empathy, Mike disappeared down the manhole, his giggling echoed through the lair.

Don looked on and let out an impatient gasp.

"Uh, Mikey, how about a hand with the lady? I don't think I have enough strength to get her down myself."

Mike was rummaging through a nearby stack of comics. No sense in wasting time in the "study."

"Uh, sorry bro. I got a date with the toilet. Like, right now."

He paused and looked up at Donnie, who was still standing above, his foot tapping the floor. Mike was getting impatient with Don's whining.

"Dude, why don't you just put her over your shoulder? Geez, do I hafta tell ya how to do everything?" Mike said in a huff.

Don snorted at the response. While it was the best way to bring her down, it was gonna take strength that he no longer possessed to hoist her over his shoulder. After a struggle with his protesting muscles, he balanced her over his shoulder and made his way down the ladder. When he reached the bottom, he heard her start to moan and twist on his shoulder. He figured that her body was protesting the top of his shell burying itself in her stomach. He had no choice but to allow her to slip back into his arms. She stopped moaning, and continued to sleep in peace. He sighed and started to make a beeline for the couch, his arms were trembling and he knew that they were about to give out.

"Ah ha!" Mike exclaimed as he found his favorite comic book in the large pile. He began to head for the bathroom, but stopped near the stereo. He realized that his visit to the potty might not be a quiet one. Not wanting his business to echo through the lair, he pushed the power button and cranked up the volume as he opened the door to the bathroom. Turning on the light, he turned towards the toilet. He threw his arms out as if he were about to embrace someone.

"My savior!" he cried in a high-pitched girlie voice. Trotting over to the toilet, he raised the seat cover and leaned down as if he was talking to a dog.

"Tell me, Mr. Toilet," he said to his new best friend, "do you like grape jelly and cabbage pizza?"

Don was almost to the couch with Samantha when the stereo finally settled on playing a CD. He almost dropped her on the couch when the stereo started blaring out a song that sang dramatically of someone dying in someone's arms. Don looked up and glared at the stereo.

_Oh geez, of all the songs to play right now…_

Don laid Samantha down and quickly marched over to the stereo to turn it down, his face flushed with embarrassment.

He turned the volume down in time to hear the echo of Mike's hysterical laughter in the bathroom.

"That wasn't funny, Mikey," Don said sternly.

Mike grinned as he realized he had another chance to get revenge on Don.

"Aw yeah bro, MONDO funny!" Mike howled from behind the door. Don cringed as he heard him scream between the howling, "Ha, two times in one night! Your turn dude!"

The howling soon gave way to a series of snorts, followed by some unpleasant bathroom noises that Don wished he didn't hear. Mike began howling again at his bodily noises and quieted down enough to yell "Bombs Away!" followed by more snorts and disorderly laughter. Soon he quieted down again, and yelled "Whew, who cut the cheese in here?" He soon gave into more laughter and snorts. Don's face gave way to a look of disgust. Before he forwarded the CD to another song and cranked the volume back up so he didn't have to hear any more noise, he yelled at Mike, "I hope you fall off the toilet, you disgusting little stinker!" Much to the relief of Don, the stereo blocked out Mike's response.

Don headed to his room to inspect the medicine table and extra bed that was used to treat anyone that was wounded or sick. Just as Leo was dubbed the unofficial "leader," Don was dubbed the unofficial "medic" of the group. He had a pretty good knack for fixing things, whether it was animate or inanimate, and so it was only natural for the broken to find temporary abode in his room.

All the bottles of medicine were in order on the table, and he gave a quick glance to the bed and let out a gasp.

_Gross, I forgot to clean that up!_

There was a huge bloodstain on the sheets, courtesy of Raph's last temper tantrum that led to a confrontation and fight with Leo. It was this latest fight that led Splinter to decide that they needed to cool off in the tranquility of April's farmhouse. In the fight, Leo had sliced Raph's thigh rather deeply with his katana, and it bled like Niagara Falls. It was quite interesting to try to stitch up a wound like that to the tune of Raph shouting every curse word known to man, and even some that Raph made up in the heat of his agony. Don smiled at the memory.

_Oh Raph, when are you ever gonna learn?_

He quickly stripped the sheets and replaced them with fresh ones. Satisfied with the clean up, he returned to the couch, picked up Samantha, and carried her to the bed. After arranging her on the bed, he did a quick look over. It appeared that she only had a deep abrasion on the side of her forehead from when she slammed against the building. If she had any other wounds, they weren't serious enough to bleed, and so he was satisfied that her only major exterior injury was the head wound. However, the possibility of her having a concussion was another matter.

He gathered some gauze and hydrogen peroxide to start cleaning out the abrasion when the phone rang.

Don let out an impatient sigh and he shouted to Mike, whom he thought should have been out of the bathroom by now, "Hey Mikey, could you get that please?"

The only response was the blaring music coming from the stereo.

_Crud, he's still in the bathroom…_

He grabbed the remote to the stereo and turned it down as he reached for the phone.

"Hello?"

"Wuz up, genius?" a gruff voice asked in an insincere tone.

_Great, why'd it have to be Raph?_

"Uh, Raph, what a …..surprise."

"So, are ya havin' fun babysittin' Mikey?" Raph asked, clearly amused at his own annoyance.

Don took a breath, and tried in vain to cool his blood. The last thing he needed was to have his shell scuffed by a sarcastic phone call from Raph.

"Raph, I'm really not in the mood for this conversation, are you calling for a particular reason?" Don said flatly.

Raph laughed, "So it's goin' that good, huh?"

Don was beginning to lose it, "Blast it, Raph, what do you want?"

Raph crooned, "Geez Einstein, what got yer panties all up in a wad?"

Don took a deep breath and spilled it.

"Well let's see, Mikey hasn't left me alone all week, he's been following me around the lair asking a million questions, he's been torturing me to play X box with him, he's breaking my stuff, singing annoying songs, eating disgusting pizza, making disgusting noises in the bathroom and tonight we rescued a girl and had to bring her back here because she got hurt in the process and…"

Raph interrupted Don's tirade, "Wait, wait, ya got a chick at the lair, Donnie?"

"Yeah, we couldn't leave her, she was being chased by some goons and they threw her up against the wall and she has a big gash on her head."

"So, is she awake?" Raph asked, excitement filling his voice.

"No, she's still unconscious."

A shuffling noise was heard on the other end of the phone, and after hearing Raph yell some colorful language in the background, another voice was heard on the line.

"Donnie, this is Leo, now what's all this about a girl in the lair?" he asked desperately.

Don had to fight the urge to hang up the phone. He was in no mood to get a lecture, especially from Leo.

"Uh, as I was just explaining to Raph," Don said in an obviously aggravated tone, "we rescued a girl, she got hurt in the process, and we brought her back to the lair to tend to her wounds."

"Is she awake?" Leo asked, ignoring Don's aggravation for the moment.

Don took another deep breath.

"Nooooo, the goons threw her up against the wall and knocked her out."

There was a pause at the other end of the phone. Raph could still be heard in the background, yelling obscenities at Leo for taking the phone away from him. A hand muffled the phone, and Don could hear Leo say something to Raph. It was hard to hear exactly what he was saying, but Don caught something that sounded a lot like Leo offering to give Raph another gash to match the one he already had on his thigh. Raph's voice trailed off as he walked away still cursing, and the hand came off the receiver as Leo continued the conversation in peace.

"Do you think you can dress her wounds and bring her topside while she's still unconscious, Donnie?" Leo asked.

Don gasped at the coldness of the question, "Leo, she has a gash on the side of her forehead that can easily be cleaned and patched up, but it's possible that she has a concussion too. I couldn't in good conscience take her topside and abandon her on the sidewalk with a concussion."

It was Leo's turn to grow impatient.

"Donnie, I don't mean to sound like I don't care about her, but do I have to remind you of the last time one of us brought someone home? You broke a major rule in bringing this girl back to the lair, a rule that we all agreed upon upholding no matter what the cost." Don started to reply, but Leo continued, "Donnie, I don't want to go through all that trouble again, having to find another lair and moving all our stuff again. We took a risk letting April into our world, and look what happened. I don't want to take another risk with this girl too. I know that you did it in good faith Donnie, but you have put us in danger. Letting this girl wake up in the lair is not an option."

Don knew that Leo was right. After April and Casey were allowed into the fold, it was decided that they would not allow anyone else to know of their existence, at least if it could be helped. They would continue to patrol the city, and come to the aide of those in need, but their identities would remain unknown to the people in need. Bringing people back to the lair was no longer an option. Don knew he was breaking the rule when he took Samantha home, but knew that the rescue would have been in vain if they would have left her in the alley with the goons. They would have woken up before her, and would have continued the assault on her while she remained helplessly unconscious. Even if they tied the goons up, her concussion could have worsened, and she might have died before anyone discovered her. That wasn't fair to her. The decision was made, and there wasn't much that could be done to change it. Don's sense of preserving life, especially that of a female won over the importance of following rules. Leo's anal desire to follow the rules no matter what set him and Don on opposite ends of the spectrum when it came to decision-making.

Don sighed, "Okay Leo, I agree with you, so what do you suggest I do? I can't just waltz into a hospital with her. April and Casey are out of town, so calling on them for help is out. I repeat, I just can't leave her on the street."

"Don, you've got a lot of brains in that noggin of yours, I'm sure you can come up with something intelligent," Leo said confidently.

"Give me a break, Leo. You come up with the plans. It's your job, not mine."

"Yeah, but I'm not there, and you were left in charge. Besides, we were all trained to operate independently of one another. This is your chance to be the plan-caller for a change."

Don wished that Leo were there in front of him so he could slap the snot out of him.

"Geez, thanks a lot, Leo. Your support means a lot to me."

Leo frowned at the remark, "Donnie, I wouldn't say that if I didn't have any faith in you. You're smarter than you think. I trust that you will figure a way to handle it. Just look at the situation like you are trying to figure out how to fix a gadget."

Don let out a sigh, "Leo, I'll offer you a deal, but you have to do me a favor. Don't tell Splinter, okay? I promise I will figure out a way of getting her out of here without her waking up, but not abandoning her in the street."

Leo smiled, "Deal. So get to cleaning her up and come up with a plan. Remember, I have faith in you."

Don sighed again, and was about to reply when he heard a laugh escape from the bathroom. Mike must have finally finished his business, and was enjoying his comic book.

"By the way, how's it going with Mikey?" Leo asked.

"You don't want to know. When you guys come back, I will need a vacation."

"Why, what's he done that would make you need a vacation?" Leo asked innocently.

Don groaned at Leo's audacity and hung up the phone.

Leo blinked absent-mindedly at the phone when he heard a click, then a repetitive beeping sound, followed by the annoying, nasal operator voice that announced, "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again."

"Donnie? Donnie? Are you there?" He hung up the phone and walked off, mumbling to himself, "I wonder what's got him so upset. Mikey can't be that bad."

Don sat down and passed a hand over his hurting head. He had to play doctor AND come up with a plan to get Samantha out unconscious before the night was over.

_What a delightful time for Leo to have confidence in me._

He started for his room when Mike exited the bathroom, an evil grin spread on his face.

"Dude, DO NOT go in there. It's mondo polluted."

Don sighed, "So tell me Mikey, did the toilet melt through the floor too?"

Mike giggled, "Nah, but it's really stinky. Grape jelly and cabbage doesn't make for a good poop."

Don rolled his eyes and walked into his room to begin cleaning off Samantha's forehead.

Mike soon followed into the room, and after taking a sweeping view of Samantha, his Cheshire grin returned and he asked, "So Donnie, can we keep her?"

* * *

A/N: Whew, pretty good for an afternoon on the computer. I wasn't happy with this chapter at first, but it kinda took on a life of it's own, and it grew on me. It's about time I updated, huh? 

Chapter 5 should contain the conversation y'all have been waiting for. The phone conversation between Leo/Don/Raph just popped in my head at the last minute, and I couldn't resist throwing it in. Remember, I originally intended this story to be a short shot, maybe only having 3 chapters at most, but the dang thing keeps expanding!

It's going on so that I actually have a sequel to it that is currently brewing in my mind as we speak. Ah, the ever lovely plot bunnies dancing in my head.

Thanks for reading and don't forget to review folks!


	5. To Keep or Not to Keep

Hello people! Remember me? Yes I know, it's been almost a month, sorry. I've had some things happen that have kept me from writing…..and school starts up this week, so that's not gonna help.

See Chapter 1 for Disclaimer, it still applies. Samantha is mine, though. BTW: I finally decided on a last name for poor Samantha. It's Catania. It was the last name of a customer that came to my office the other day. How original, I know. And yeah, I don't own him either..heh heh.

I don't think there's such a word as "tormentious," but it just seemed to me to be so like Don to invent words, or at least "tweak" already existing words. He invents mechanical stuff, why not linguistic stuff too?

A big THANK YOU to all of my reviewers: Reluctant Dragon, pacphys, Lunar-ninja, Becca T, Chibi Rose Angel, rienaeotaku, Reinbeauchaser, Sassyblondexoxo, saber-otter, Tripleguess, moonie016 and Jessiy Landroz. I see that I've attracted more readers. Yea for me! I'm glad you people are still reading and even better that you're leaving a review.

_Italics are characters thoughts_

* * *

**Chapter 5: To Keep or Not to Keep**

Don made a face at Mike as he grabbed the bottle of hydrogen peroxide and some gauze.

Mike's smile melted into a pitiful pout.

"Come on bro, why can't we, huh?" he whined, sporting his brown puppy dog eyes.

Don sighed, getting more exasperated by the moment.

_First Mikey, then Raph, then Leo, and then Mikey… AGAIN. _

_Will there ever be an end to this tormentious night?_

Don snapped out of his thoughts and glared at Mike.

"Because we just can't, okay?" he quipped, not wanting to get into a drawn-out discussion.

Mike let out a sigh and crossed his arms in disappointment. He sat on the edge of the bed and was about to continue, but cringed when he saw Don pull Samantha's blood-caked hair away from her face to begin cleaning. He didn't like to see anyone hurt, especially a lady, and even though she was unconscious, he knew that when she did wake up she was gonna be wishing she hadn't. Mike's short-term attention span caused him to change gears, but only for a moment. The hamster wheels in his head were turning big time over his original question.

"Maybe we should order a truckload of aspirin for her now, huh bro?" Mike asked half-joking and half-serious.

The joke was enough to melt some of Don's frustration, and he grinned sadly as he continued the gruesome task, "Heh, no kidding. She's gonna be in some pain, that's for sure. Not from the abrasion, of course, but from the impact."

Mercifully, Mike remained silent as Don reached for another gauze pad, tossing the first blood-soaked one aside. Don took a deep breath of relief as he welcomed the silence. As he continued to work, he spied on Mike in his peripheral vision, and noticed that he seemed mesmerized at what he was doing; therefore making him too pre-occupied to talk.

_Good, he's already forgotten the conversation. There is a God._

Bells and whistles started going off in Mike's head, alerting him that he forgot about his question. He immediately jerked out of his daze and resumed the original conversation.

"So Donnie, **seriously**, why can't we keep her?"

_ARGH! This is about as bad as an all-nighter repeat of a horrible B movie!_

Don's eyes glazed over in annoyance as he felt a spike in his blood pressure…again.

"Good grief Mikey, don't you ever let stuff go?" Don snapped as he wiped away the last bit of blood.

Mike shrugged his shoulders and continued.

"Come on Donnie, I'm trying to have a serious conversation here. I don't tell ya to let stuff go when ya start a conversation with me."

Don frowned at the rebuke and he suddenly felt a little guilty for his brashness.

He sighed as he gathered up the pile of blood-soaked gauze and threw them in the trash.

"Because we just can't, okay?" he said in a calmed voice that surprised even him.

Mike crossed his arms as his own blood pressure began to rise.

"You already gave me that reason, and it's not good enough, dude," Mike muttered in a low, serious voice.

Don's head shot up in shock at Mike's sudden change of tone.

"Mikey, you already know why. Splinter wouldn't let us keep her."

Mike remained silent for a minute, pondering the new point as Don turned around and reached for the roll of gauze.

"But let's just say that Splinter would let us keep her…."

Don looked up as he began to wrap the gauze around her head.

"First of all, you know darn well that the underworld would open up a snow-ball stand before Splinter would let us do such a thing, and second of all, it's just not ethical."

Mike frowned, "Whadda ya mean by that? What's ethical?"

Don began to fasten the gauze to her head.

"It means that it wouldn't be right for us to keep her, it would be against her will."

Mike's brow furrowed as the hamster wheels in his head began to smoke.

"But humans keep lots of animals as pets, isn't that the same thing? Aren't they keeping them against their will too? Why is that okay, huh?"

Don opened his mouth to reply, but Mike continued his tirade.

"Donnie, think about it. According to Master Splinter, before we were washed down the sewers, we were pets of a little boy. Why was it okay for him to have us? I mean, shouldn't we have been hanging out in a pond somewhere and not in an aquarium?"

Don leaned over and laid a hand on Mike's shoulder in an attempt to calm him down. He was surprised at how serious Mike was getting.

"Our situation was different, Mikey. Most of the animals that people have as pets were born of domesticated parents."

Mike's brow now furrowed in confusion, and Don realized that his five-dollar word didn't register in Mike's head. An explanation was in order.

"Domesticated means that the parents were already pets. They were never wild; they always lived under the care of humans. It's true that some people capture wild animals and keep them as pets. But in our case, we were probably born in a pet shop; we were born to be someone's pets."

Mike's breathing slowed down as he tried to make sense of Don's logic. Don pointed over to Samantha as he resumed his lecture.

"Humans, on the other hand," he paused as he waved in her direction, "have always been free, because they are the keepers of the world and keepers of the other inhabitants, namely, the animals."

Mike scratched his head as he looked up at Don.

"I totally understand what yer sayin,' bro," Mike said with a defeated sigh. "But I still think it would be neat to keep her." He hung his head and paused, but his head shot up and his eyes began to sparkle with mischief as he continued, "I don't know about you bro, but I wouldn't be complainin' if she wanted to keep ME as a pet."

Don grinned at his brother. "Yeah Mikey, I know YOU wouldn't mind being her pet, but I do think she would mind being yours."

Mike let out a gasp of unbelief.

"Whadda ya mean, bro? I would take good care of her. I'd make her all the pizza she wanted, and I'd play X Box with her to keep her entertained, I'd watch T.V. with her, and finally," Mike paused to rub his hands together, "I'd snuggle up with her at night and keep her warm, and…"

Don nudged Mike out of his fantasy.

"Mikey, you are totally hopeless, you know nothing about what makes a lady happy. I don't think any of the things you just mentioned would come close to tipping her happy scale."

Mike crossed his arms in mock defeat.

"We'll just have to see, won't we dude? Let's ask her when she wakes up."

Don sat at the edge of the bed with Mike and threw an arm around his brother's shoulder.

"I don't think that's gonna be happening, bro. I promised Leo I'd get her out of here before she woke up."

"When did ya promise that?" Mike gasped as he jumped off the bed.

"When I talked to him on the phone while you were busy dropping a nuclear bomb in the bathroom," Don said with a smirk.

"Why did ya do such a thing, bro?" Mike said desperately, ignoring Don's joke.

Don shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, I broke that rule that we all agreed on, you know, when we promised that we wouldn't bring anyone back to the lair?"

"I know," Mike whined as his eyes began to tear up, "but…but…she was hurt Donnie. We couldn't just leave her there. Those goons would've gotten her."

"I know Mikey, I totally agree with you, but you know how Leo is about following rules. If we can find a place to leave her that's safe, I think that it'll be okay. We dressed her wounds, but she does need to go to the hospital for the concussion."

"Man…" Mike hung his head, clearly disappointed.

He raised his head to look at Samantha and then at Don, who was still sitting on the edge of the bed.

A little tear escaped from Mike's eye and began to roll down his cheek. Don reached out and put a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. Mike shrinked at the touch and turned his face away.

"I know Mikey…I know how excited you were to make a new friend. But it's for our safety and hers," Don crooned, trying to soothe his little brother.

Mike slipped out from under his brother's hand and walked over to Samantha's side.

He looked sadly at her for a moment, and began to stroke her silky black hair as he processed the disappointing truth.

"It's too bad we can't keep her, she's so pretty," he said softly as his tender little heart broke.

He stopped playing with her hair and turned to Don.

"So, any ideas on what, where and how we're gonna get her back topside?" he asked as he wiped away the little tear from his cheek.

Don passed a hand over his head and sighed.

"Nope, not yet, but I'm open to suggestions."

* * *

A/N: Sorry this is so short, but my muses abandoned me at this point, and I felt that if I tried to continue un-inspired, it would start to stink like the lair bathroom. Bleah! 

I know the ending, and I know the means of how they are going to bring Samantha topside, but my brain is trying to figure out the details.

So yes, there will be a Chapter 6, and as it looks, it will be the final chapter for this story, unless my muses surprise me with some more inspiration.

Thanks for reading and don't forget to review folks!


	6. Turtles, Nuns & Drunken Bums

Sorry for the tardiness, you can thank Hurricanes Katrina and Rita for that! Blow yourself out of existence, Hurricane Wilma! We don't want you either!

A big thank you to my readers and especially my reviewers: Chibi Rose Angel, Ryelle, meathead, pacphys, Becca T, Reluctant Dragon, Reinbeauchaser, and Jessiy Landroz.

See Chapter 1 for disclaimer, it still applies. I also do not own any drunken bums, nuns or convents. (What a combination that is!) I only own Samantha and the storyline. 

_Italics are characters thoughts_

* * *

**Chapter 6: Turtles, Nuns & Drunken Bums (oh my!)**

After making sure that Samantha's head dressing was holding up, Don and Mike headed for the couch to take a breather and try to form a plan to get Samantha out of the lair.

Don collapsed on the couch, his muscles still screamed in pain from the strain of carrying Samantha all the way home. He began to rub his arms in a futile attempt to ease the burning sensation that jumped up and down his arms like firecrackers in a pipe.

_How in the world am I gonna do this again? I don't have the strength to carry her anymore…_

Mike grabbed for the T.V. remote, unaware of his brother's pain. He was too preoccupied with trying to fight off his own pain brought on by the depression of not being able to make friends with Samantha. With a click, the screen flashed to life, illuminating the two brothers in a soft, comforting glow. Mike's eyes lit up when his favorite cartoon came to life on the screen, and a relaxed grin spread upon his face. In his mind, Samantha's face faded away and was replaced by cartoon craziness. The sadness in his heart was momentarily forgotten, and the pain, momentarily numbed.

Don turned and glared at Mike, who stared at the screen in what appeared to be blissful obliviousness.

"Uh Mikey, we're supposed to be coming up with a PLAN, remember?" Don hissed.

Mike looked at him innocently and replied, "Yeah dude, I know…I'm workin' on it right now!"

"How are you 'working' on it when you're watching T.V.?" Don gasped.

Mike rolled his eyes. "Duh, all the answers to our questions can be found on the T.V., dude."

Mike started to flip through some channels as Don let out a sigh and began to lose himself in thought.

_Is this what I'm reduced to? Having to form a plan with a brother that thinks we're gonna get the answers to life's questions from the T.V.? Leo is SO dead when he gets back, unless Raph gets to him first…heh…better save some for me Raph…_

Don grinned evilly at the thought, but was jarred back to reality by a jab to one of his already sore arms, courtesy of Mike. He opened his mouth to protest, but was interrupted by Mike cooing over what was on the T.V.

"Check out the costumes, bro."

A commercial flashed on the screen that showed a bunch of nuns walking around a courtyard outside their convent downtown. Short flashes of pictures popped up on the screen, showing the nuns handing out clothes to the needy, serving homeless people in the soup kitchen, tending to the sick and wounded in the hospital and reading stories to kids staying in one of the city's many homeless shelters.

Mike's brow raised up in fascination as he watched the black-and-white clad ladies go about their humble duties on the screen. He turned his head towards Don, but never took his eyes off the screen.

"Dude, why do those dudettes dress like that?"

"I don't know Mikey, I think it's their uniform."

Mike turned his head back and gave full attention to the screen. He turned the volume up as the Mother Superior appeared on the screen and began to deliver a dialogue to the tune of nuns chanting and church organs playing softly in the background:

"We, the Sisters of Perpetual Help, have been humbly serving you, the citizens of New York City, for over a century. No one has ever been or ever will be turned away. We open our arms to all peoples who are in need of assistance, especially the poor, the homeless and the outcast. Please continue to support us as we serve our brothers and sisters in need. Thank you for your generous financial and spiritual aide. God bless you."

The last picture to flash showed one of the nuns leaning over a woman in the hospital, adjusting some gauze that was wrapped around the patient's head. As the picture began to fade off the screen, the nun looked up at the camera and smiled sweetly. Mike couldn't help but smile back. Not only was she pretty, but she just gave him the answer they've been hoping for.

"See, I told you we'd find the answer on the T.V.!" Mike exclaimed as he crossed his arms in self-satisfaction, "Thanks for the idea, dudettes!"

Puzzled, Don looked over to Mike for an explanation. "What? What are you talking about, Mikey?"

"Didn't you see that nun takin' care of that lady in the hospital?"

"Yeah, so what? They do it all the time, it's part of their mission, or something," Don said, scratching his head in uncertainty.

"Yeah, sooooooo they take care of people that are hurt," Mike paused, hoping Don would catch on, "maybe they can take care of our lady too!" Mike exclaimed as he smacked his forehead with his hand, "Duh, Donnie!"

Mike looked over at Don, who looked like the light bulb had finally come on over his head but was too embarrassed to admit it. Don crossed his arms and shot him a dirty look, which prompted a wicked grin to pass over Mike's face. A gloating dance was in order.

Mike jumped up and began doing the happy dance around the couch, singing "Nah-nah-nahnah-nah-nah, I-came-up-with-the-plan-and-Donnie-did-n't, nah-nah-nahnah-nah nah."

Don shook his head, knowing full well that he'd never live this down.

_My life is over when the others find out about this. I'll never hear the end of it. I cannot believe that Mikey came up with a viable plan, and without my input._

Mike finished his nursery-rhyme-gloating-song and jumped up on the makeshift coffee table, pitching his arms upward like the referees do in football after a score. He looked down at Don with the wicked grin still plastered to his face and exclaimed in a victory voice, "Yes friends, you may bow down to the mighty Michelangelo, for he…"

Don jumped up and tackled his brother in mid sentence, and they both landed on the floor with a thud, rolling over each other in a mock wrestling match. Mike was laughing so hard, his bladder was threatening to let loose its contents and Don's bladder soon threatened to do the same. The hardy laughter of the two brothers echoed through the lair and up the tunnels to the streets above…

Two very drunk homeless men sat next to a building enjoying their beverages as the echo of laughter escaped through a street grate nearby. Startled, one of the bums laid down his bottle of booze to listen to the alcohol-distorted laughter, and turned to his drinking buddy and said, "Listen ta that….see, I tole you thare wuz some rats down thare."

The other bum laughed at his friend and replied, "Thaz ain't no rats, thaz those gators down thare."

Both paused to hear the laughter rise again to their impaired ears, and they both started laughing along.

"Crazy man, crazy…" one bum declared as he took another shot of whisky.

The other one looked warily at his booze bottle hidden in a small paper bag and murmured, "Maybe we should dry up, man."

They looked at each other in a small moment of seriousness, but the moment passed as another wave of laughter came up the grate. The bums laughed so hard that stinky, yellow puddles began to form on the sidewalk underneath them.

"Jumpin' Judas Priest, man," one declared in disgust, "I jus' pants in me peed!"

The other looked down and then looked up at his friend, his brow furrowed in confusion. That didn't sound right, but his brain was swimming in so much whisky, it was too hard to figure out what was wrong, so he decided it was much easier to just agree. "Uhhhh…yeah, me too… I think!" he said slowly.

In the tunnels below, two giant turtles were fighting for control of their bladders, and unlike the bums above, they won, making it safely to the bathroom…just in time.

* * *

Mike was looking at himself in the small mirror on the wall. After donning his trench coat and fedora hat, he began tilting the hat in various degrees on his head, which prompted him to make small, impatient whines under his breath. Finally, after finding the degree he wanted, he pulled up the collar and dropped his face down so that only his dark eyes were visible underneath the shadows of the hat and collar.

"Here's lookin' at you, kid," he said with a grin, nailing an impeccable impression of Humphrey Bogart.

Don shook his head as he dressed himself in his own matching hat and coat. He smiled, not at the impression, but at the bomb he was about to drop on his brother.

"Okay 'Bogie,' go get your damsel in distress, we gotta get moving."

Mike's smile quickly melted away.

"Uh…what? Did I hear you correctly, bro? Did you say for ME to go get her?" Mike asked nervously as he straightened his hat squarely on his head.

Don began to rock himself back and forth on his feet, smiling smugly at having the chance to return Mike's lack of empathy from earlier in the evening.

_That's right, you little stinker…I won't be the only one that's gonna be sore tonight._

"Uh, yeah…that's what I said. I got the pleasure of carrying her by myself coming home, now YOU …" Don paused to snicker, "get the pleasure of carrying her to the convent. After all, what kind of a brother would I be if I didn't let you have a turn?" Don's eyes were dancing in amusement of his own sarcasm.

Mike's eyes, however, grew wide as he realized that Don was being quite serious, despite the fact that he was about to collapse in a fit of laughter. Don waited to get a response from his brother, but Mike's brain began to have a meltdown trying to grasp a hold of the situation.

_Holy shell!…how's little ole' me gonna carry her all that way? She weighs more than I do! Where's Raph when I need him?_

Mike searched his brother's face in hopes of seeing a shadow of mercy in his features. Don spotted the hopefulness in his brother's stare, and crossed his arms defiantly in response. Mike, in turn, dropped his bottom lip and let loose his usually effective puppy dog eyes. Don let out a snort in response, and a sneer of indifference spread across his face.

_Noooo way Mikey, you ain't getting me with those puppy dog eyes of yours. Save the pity party for Leo or Master Splinter._

Disappointed at his lack of success, Mike sighed, and as he turned to go get Samantha, whined "Oh man, I am gonna be SO sore in the morning…"

Don was climbing up the ladder, and paused to reply in a mocking tone, "Hey, join the party, dude."

Mike huffed over his shoulder, "Not funny, bro."

Don opened his mouth to respond with the phrase they'd been swapping all night, but Mike read his mind and quickly turned around, pointed a finger and threatened "Don't you DARE say it, or I'm gonna tell Master Splinter about you breakin' the rules!"

Don flushed with embarrassment and retorted, "Shut up and go get your 'girlfriend' so we can leave!"

Mike's laughter at Don's discomfiture echoed through the lair leaving Don to thoughts of the vacation he was well deserving of.

_Just a few more hours and this headache will be gone…hang in there Donnie._

* * *

A/N: You can thank my muses for giving me inspiration for yet ANOTHER chapter…and yes, Chapter 7 is in the works!

Thanks for reading and don't forget to review folks!


	7. The UnRescue

Thanks to my readers and especially my reviewers; you know who you are!

See Chap 1 for disclaimer, it still applies. I only own Samantha Catania (the OC) and the storyline.

_Italics are characters thoughts_

* * *

**Chapter 7: The Un-Rescue**

Moonlight shined down through street grates, illuminating the way for the two brothers as they walked in silence. Don absent-mindedly pulled at a loose strand of grip tape on his bo as he walked ahead of Mike. His brain was racing because he didn't know how they were going to unburden themselves of Samantha when they got to the convent. Questioning Mike about the details of his "brilliant" plan was not possible at the moment; he was too busy gasping for breath under the weight of Samantha.

After accidentally pulling a rather large piece of tape off his bo, he cursed himself under his breath.

_Great Donnie boy, just one more thing you gotta fix now…_

In an effort to distract himself from the mundane walk, he began to concentrate on the sound of Mike's breathing. The erratic rhythm immediately caught his attention and caused him to cast a concerned glance at Mike, but his concern soon melted away to disappointment. He frowned as he noticed Mike had broken into a heavy sweat long before he did when he carried Samantha earlier in the evening. He chalked it up to Mike's lack of exercise and unhealthy appetite, things that had earned him many a lecture from Master Splinter and Leo. He was fighting the urge to turn around and say "We told you so!" but decided to stick to throwing disapproving frowns at Mike instead.

Despite the low light, Mike's keen sense of sight allowed him to spot Don's many over-the-shoulder scowls, and at first he tried to ignore them. But with the situation already testing his patience, he could no longer repress the rising irritation and finally had enough of being silently mocked by his brother.

"What's…yer…prob…dude?" Mike challenged between gasps for air.

Don snorted and replied condescendingly over his shoulder, "So this is what happens when you slack in your workouts and stuff your face? You sweat like a gluttonous pig in a sausage factory when you have to do something that seriously tests your stamina and endurance."

Mike's eyes narrowed underneath his soaking-wet bandana.

_Aw great, so he's gonna turn into Leo now?_

Mike was in no condition to talk, but he couldn't allow Don's flawed lecture to go uncorrected.

"That…ain't…got…nuth-in'…ta…do…with…it… bro,…and…you…know…it. I…am…not…in…the…bus-iness…of…carry-in'…peo-ple…a-round…"

Mike stopped mid-sentence when he noticed a workman's niche in the wall.

_Thank you, God!_

Wasting no time, he quickly made a beeline for the niche, ignoring Don and the conversation for the moment. With a huff, he sat down and propped Samantha up into a sitting position, spreading his legs to allow the majority of her weight to rest on the bench and not his legs. He pushed his collar down on his shoulder, and allowed her head to rest on top of it, holding it down so he could have better access to air. A small moan escaped from her lips at the sudden repositioning, but she remained unconscious, much to Mike's relief. He was in no mood for her to wake up and start screaming his ear hole off.

Satisfied with the repositioning, Mike dropped his head until it lay flush with his plastron and he began to take in deeper breaths. He struggled to concentrate on every breath, trying to keep his mind off of strange feelings that now manifested themselves.

Samantha's breath was dancing wonders on his neck, and his hormone levels began to rise in response to the new stimulation. He had never been that close to a female before, and the fact that she was laying on his lap made his head spin in excitement. Mike closed his eyes, hoping that Don wouldn't see his cheeks suddenly flush with embarrassment due to his body's unexpected arousal.

Don stopped, and walking over to stand in front of Mike, waited for the rest of the explanation in silence. Mike's eyes fluttered open, and he eyed Don warily underneath the shadow of his fedora. Don appeared to be oblivious to his inner turmoil with his hormones, and for that, Mike was grateful.

After a few minutes of focused breathing, Mike managed to get his hormones in check, but his temper began to flare when he realized that Don was now tapping his foot in impatience. Mike looked up indignantly at his brother.

"What are you lookin' at, dude?"

"A very out of shape ninja, apparently."

Mike shook his head in disbelief.

"I told you this ain't my thing, bro!"

"So what is your 'thing,' Mikey?" Don challenged as he crossed his arms.

"Strike and retract, that's my thing, genius! You know that…everybody knows that. I'm the smallest and therefore the fastest. My job isn't to tote people around, that's Raph's job. I'm NOT out of shape; I'm out of my element."

Don pondered Mike's point as he scratched at his would-be chin.

"You might be out of your element Mikey, but you ARE out of shape too. You got winded too early in the walk AND you're sweating buckets… both are classic signs of prolonged inactivity."

Mike rolled his eyes. "Whatever, dude. Yer just jealous cuz I'm faster than you." Mike paused and cracked a lopsided grin, "Heck, I'm faster than ALL of you!"

Don snickered at the retort, but didn't reply. Maybe in a way he was a little jealous, but he was never going to admit it. Mike was right...he was the fastest of the group. When he performed his katas, it was a sight to behold, and even Leo in all his perfection could not match Mike's speed. It was irony at its finest; Mike, the hyper-active-never-serious-goof-of-the-clan was the only one that possessed an ability that Leo envied with a passion.

Don smiled at Mike in secret admiration.

_Maybe the little stinker isn't so bad after all._

Wanting to get his mind off his hormones and end the irritating debate, Mike raised his eyes to the street grate above them and nodded in its direction.

"So, are we there yet?" Mike whined in a classical child-like impatient tone.

Don looked up through the grate and strained his eyes to focus on one of the street signs above.

"Hmm, not quite, but we can probably surface here and walk topside. I think it's one more block over. There are enough shadows to dip into; we should be safe."

Mike sighed, and with a tired glance, looked at Samantha and then looked at Don.

"Next time, let's rescue someone smaller. This dudette weighs a ton!" Mike huffed.

Don looked at Mike as he was pushing up the grate for them to climb upwards.

"Well Mikey, she is a bit of an Amazon, isn't she? I'd guess she's about 5'8" and weighs close to…hmm," Don paused and scratched his head in thought, "…160 pounds at least."

Mike's eyes went wide and he gasped, "160 pounds my foot, I still say she weighs a ton!"

Don stepped off the ladder and walked over to Mike to continue his synopsis of Samantha's bio-statistics.

"Actually, she looks like she's in pretty good shape," Don mused. "A bit on the curvy side, but still, she's a great specimen of physical fitness."

"Ya got that right bro; she's built like a brick house!" Mike said as he gave her a good look over. "Yea baby!" Mike crooned in his best Austin Powers voice as he stared admiringly at her curves.

Don's cheeks flushed at Mike's observation. He began to rub the back of his neck nervously and a goofy grin spread on his face.

"Well Mikey, I gotta agree with you on that point, but I was actually referring to her physical build, not her…um…womanly features."

Mike grinned wildly at his brother.

"Aw come on bro, I know ya think she's hot too, just admit it," Mike teased.

Choosing to ignore Mike, Don curiously rolled her shirt sleeve up to reveal a well muscle-toned arm. "She must work out…maybe does some kick boxing, or gymnastics. That tuck and roll she did earlier was too well executed to be an accident." Don paused and smiled, "Too bad we couldn't teach her some ninja moves, she'd be able to kick some major rear-ends…"

Mike's eyes lit up in hope, but Don was quick to rain on Mike's parade.

"…but, rules are rules. We have to let her go," Don finished flatly.

Mike let out a sigh and said, "Donnie, you sure do have a handle on the whole party pooper thing, you know that?"

Don grinned and shrugged his shoulders. "Well, there has to be a realist in this situation, and you certainly don't qualify for the position."

Having no vocal retort, Mike simply stuck his tongue out at his brother, and with a groan, picked her up and slowly made his way up the ladder to the world above.

* * *

Making the remaining block without incident, Mike and Don hid themselves in the bushes that grew in the front of the convent. Satisfied that they were not seen, they began to scope out the scene in silence. 

A few minutes passed before Mike finally spoke.

"So, uh….what do we do now, dude?" Mike asked meekly.

Don cast a bewildered look at Mike. "Uh, this was YOUR brilliant idea, remember? Why are you asking me?"

Mike grinned sheepishly and replied, "Yeah, well, my idea was to bring her here, that's it."

Don narrowed his eyes and asked suspiciously, "What do you mean, 'that's it?'"

"The plan stops here, bro. I have no idea what to do next," Mike declared as he shrank a little into his shell.

Don threw his hands up in exasperation, causing a shower of leaves to rain down upon them.

"So NOW you tell me? Mikey, I thought you had it all figured out!" Don said through gritted teeth.

Shamed, Mike shrugged his shoulders and sat in silence, staring blankly ahead at the convent.

For the umpteenth time that night, Don had a burning urge to lean over and strangle his younger brother. Instead, he turned his attention to the convent and began to observe random occupants roaming the halls in muffled light.

"Well, there appears to be people patrolling the halls. I suppose we could just leave her at the front doors and just ring the bell," Don mused.

Mike gasped and tightened his arms protectively around Samantha.

"No way, dude! We can't just leave her outside!" he said in a panicked tone.

Don sighed, "Mikey, she won't be left alone for very long. As soon as we ring the bell, the nuns will come to the door and take her in. She'll be alright."

Not satisfied, Mike continued, "But what happens if they can't get her into the building?"

Don chuckled, "Well, what's your suggestion? Waltz into the convent and hand her off like a football? The nuns will probably call for an ambulance and the police. They can help them when they get here."

Don sighed and put a reassuring hand on his brother's tense shoulder. "She's gonna be alright, Mikey. I wouldn't leave her at the front doors if I didn't feel she wasn't discovered right away," Don crooned.

Mike's lower lip began to quiver as he shot an anxious glance at Samantha and then at the front doors. "If something bad happens to her, Donnie…" Mike began uneasily.

Don leaned over to inspect Samantha's head wrap one last time. Satisfied that it was still holding up, he gave a small nudge to Mike's arm. "Nothing bad is gonna happen. Now, get going, Mikey. Just lay her down in front of the doors and ring the bell."

Mike could feel his eyes burn with the tears that he was trying in vain to hold back. He looked down into Samantha's face as a few started to roll down his cheeks.

"I don't want to let her go, Donnie," Mike whispered.

Don frowned and replied softly, "You have to, Mikey. We can't keep her. She doesn't belong to us."

Mike bowed his head in reluctant agreement. He gave her one last pining look, and raising her head up, he whispered in her ear something that Don couldn't hear, "If it were up to me, I'd keep you forever."

A tear drop fell onto the side of her face, and he gently brushed it off, replacing it with a small, longing kiss.

Don leaned over and whispered to his brother, "Go, Mikey. The longer you wait, the harder it's gonna be."

Mike whispered back in a broken voice, "Alright…I… I'm going. I just wanted to tell her goodbye."

Don patted his shoulder one last time. "Don't worry Mikey; I'm sure you'll see her again."

Mike nodded, and with one last sweeping glance of his surroundings, stood up and hastily trotted in the direction of the front doors. Even with the burden of carrying a person, Mike moved with true ninja stealth, and avoided all watchful eyes with his swift zigzag movements through the yard, moving from bush to bush. Slightly winded, he arrived at the front doors, and stood with his carapace resting against the wall as he waited for the "all clear" signal from Don.

Don's head popped through the bushes, and after glancing at the windows once again, he nodded reassuringly at Mike and gave a quick thumbs up.

Keeping a hand behind her head, Mike laid Samantha down slowly on the top step, careful not to allow her head to hit the concrete. As he removed his hand from behind her head, some of her hair came undone from the loose ponytail she wore, and a streak of white hair stood out from the black mass of hair surrounding it. Puzzled, Mike bent down to inspect the new discovery.

_What tha heck?_

He lifted her head and noticed a dark spot on her scalp towards the crown of her head. It appeared to be the origin of the streak of white hair, and Mike grunted in confusion.

_Must be some kinda birth mark. _

Shrugging his shoulders, he combed her hair back and let her head down slowly onto the concrete. Satisfied with her positioning, he turned to the doors and located the ancient doorbell. Not being content with merely pushing the button quickly, he laid a thick finger against it as if he intended to push it through the wall. The dull buzz was heard echoing through the grand hall, and Mike didn't lay off pushing until he could hear footsteps hastily making their way up to the door. Satisfied that the deed was finally accomplished, he looked once more at Samantha and whispered, "Hasta la vista, baby!" With that, he turned and sprinted towards the bushes with the agility of an antelope.

A nun looked warily through the peep hole, and not finding anyone on the other side, pulled the thick door open cautiously to reveal Samantha's still form outlined by the low light of the hall. Gasps erupted from the nuns gathered at the door as they stood motionless, staring at the unexpected "guest." A consensus was quickly taken among them, and it was decided to carry her in and call the authorities. As the concerned group began to circle around Samantha, a nun bent down and pressed two fingers into her neck to check for a pulse. Delighted to find one, she voiced her discovery to the others and they all bent down to grab at Samantha, combining their strength to pick her up. Samantha was swallowed up in the black folds of the nuns' habits as she was carried out of sight behind the doors.

Don turned to Mike, who was watching the nuns with fascination while absent-mindedly rubbing his aching arms.

"See Mikey, I told you it would be quick."

Mike turned and grinned at his brother. "Yeah dude, they were all over her like cheese on a pizza!"

Don made a face at his brother and replied, "Geez Mikey, is that all you think about…food?"

Mike crossed his arms and replied with a grin, "Nope… girls too."

Don snorted, "Mikey, you are totally hopeless."

Mike let out a hearty laugh in reply and they both slapped a hand on each others' shoulders as they headed to the nearest manhole.

Don pulled the manhole cover over the hole as the sound of sirens trumpeted through the night air, announcing the approach of the police and ambulance.

Mike smiled to himself as he heard the vehicles pass overhead, and his thoughts returned to Samantha.

_Yep, I'll see ya again, dudette. Don't know when or how, but you can bet on it._

* * *

Yep, another chapter coming up… 

Thanks for reading and don't forget to review, folks!


	8. Awakenings & Arrivals

Thanks to my readers and especially my reviewers; you know who you are!

See Chap 1 for disclaimer, it still applies. I only own Samantha Catania (and any other OCs that may appear) and the storyline.

Some crudeness in this chapter too…hey, it's Mikey we're talking about here.

_Italics are characters thoughts and dream sequences_

* * *

** Chapter 8: Awakenings and Arrivals**

_The tropical waterfall was before him in all its glory, cascading down the side of the cliff and spilling its deliciously warm water into the pool below. He stood at the edge of the crystal clear water and took a deep, refreshing breath._

'_Yeah, this is the life. I could stay here forever.'_

_The pool water was winding around the rocks at the base of the waterfall, birthing a few eddies as it moved. The morning rays of the sun began to dance and skip across the water and illuminated the droplets of water that became airborne as they fell. The water looked so inviting; he leaned over to look more intently at the beauty unfolding before him. _

'_I have to get in, there's no way I can walk away from this,' he murmured to himself as he got lost daydreaming at the sight of the churning water. _

_The water itself seemed to have a life of its own, and suddenly it began to lap playfully at his toes, teasing him with its warmth. He let out a little gasp as the wonderfulness of the sensation took him by surprise. _

_A soft breeze began to blow about him, causing some of the airborne droplets to fly in his direction, and soon he was covered with a fine mist of the enchanted water. He closed his eyes and let out a little hum of delight._

'_Come in, come in,' the water purred to him._

_He passed a hand over his moistened face before reaching down to dip a hand into the pool. The breathtaking sensation took over again, and not being able to withstand it any longer, he slowly began to lower himself into the welcoming water below..._

'_Donnie…Donnie…' _

'_I'm getting in, I'm getting in,' he murmured dreamily as he allowed the water to completely envelop him in its liquid embrace._

'_Donnie…**DONNIE!'**_

Don shot up in his bed, and to his disappointment, he didn't find the pleasant scene he was dreaming about. Mike quickly retracted his hand from his brother's shoulder, and stood silently besides the bed, waiting for his brother to become fully awake. Don scanned the room for traces of his fading dream. Not finding it, he turned a troubled gaze upon his brother, who held his hands up in a non-threatening manner.

"Dude, I come in peace!" Mike screamed in slight fear at the cross expression on Don's face. He cocked his head to the side in curiosity as he noticed his brother searching the room again.

"So dude, what's all this 'gettin' in' stuff? What were ya gettin' into?" Mike grinned as he sat on the bed in front of his brother and tried to brush off a fine layer of baking flour on his plastron.

"What did you just say? I was getting into what?" Don asked slightly embarrassed and confused.

Mike slapped a hand to his forehead. "No dude, that's what I'm asking you."

"Asking me what?" Don's face began to furrow in aggravation.

Mike sighed as he sat back, and judging from the aggravated look on his brother's face, he realized that an explanation was in order.

"I just walked in and you had this weird grin on yer face and you were uh…humming a little. Then you said something like 'I'm gettin' in' and that's all I heard. So, whatcha dreamin' about bro?" Mike asked as he resumed the grin.

Don eyed Mike's goofy grin warily and decided that telling him he was having a dream about swimming in an enchanted pool would make great material for getting royally teased for months to come, and so he decided to continue to play dumb.

"Don't know Mikey, you know I have trouble remembering my dreams sometimes," he said passively.

_At least, as far as you guys know…_

An ear piercing siren echoed through the layer, which caused both brothers to put hands protectively over their ear holes. Mike screamed through the noise, "Oh no, my biscuits are burnin,' my biscuits are burnin'!" and leapt off the bed to run off in a panic towards the kitchen.

While Mike was running to rescue the breakfast, Don grabbed a throw blanket and ran to the offended smoke alarm to wave the blanket at it frantically until it finally went silent. Don turned just in time to see Mike pull a pan of smoldering, blackened biscuits from the oven and drop them on top of the stove while fanning them frantically as well.

"Mondo bummer dude, I thought you fixed this thing!" Mike sputtered through a coughing fit.

Don shrugged his shoulders, "Well, I thought I fixed it for good."

He walked over to inspect the carnage on the stove. "I think it's proven itself to be a certifiable piece of trash. I've fixed it several times and it keeps breaking. Maybe we need to start looking for another one."

Mike smirked and responded, "Oh yeah, and I'm sure Raph's gonna be thrilled to hear he's gotta drag another one of these puppies down here."

Don opened the pantry door and pulled out a box of cereal. "I'm certain it'll be the highlight of his day," Don chuckled at the thought of Raph's famous curse-embedded- bellowing-tantrums.

Mike chuckled as well and grabbed spoons, bowls and milk and headed for the couch.

"Come on dude, let's go watch the tube," he said before he gave a mournful look at the blackened remains of the biscuits, "Sayonara, o immolated ones!"

Don stopped dead in his tracks and glared unbelieving at Mike.

"Imm…immolated? That's a mighty big word for you, Mikey! Does this mean that you actually turned down the comic books for some intelligent reading for a change?" Don mused, clearly impressed.

Mike stopped also to respond placidly, "Yeah, I glanced over some stuff last night after we got home."

"So, the citizens of the underworld must have been shoveling snow last night," Don cracked.

Mike frowned and started for the couch again, "Very funny, dude. I can be smart when I wanna be."

Don eyed his brother suspiciously, "Oh yeah, well…tell me Mr. Smarty, what was the name of the book I was reading last night when you interrupted my tinkering with the can opener?"

Mike's face went blank as he strained to remember the name. "Uh… HowtoGetRidof YourNaggingBrotherin5MinutesorLess," he rattled off in a speed that would rival an auctioneer at a livestock sale.

"Noooooo…" Don said while busting out in a fit of laughter at his brother's humorously selective memory, "How to Repair Household…" he paused to let Mike complete the title.

Mike treated his brother to one of his classic cat-that-ate-the-canary grins and replied with mock confidence, "Uh…Thingy?" Don was laughing hard again and Mike replied defensively, "Hey, I haven't made it to that word yet. But don't worry, dude. I'll get app…ap…uh, 'that' word eventually. You just watch…" he finished with a pout.

Don almost squeezed the cereal out of the box in his fits of laughter, and lacking the breath to reply, he continued to the couch with Mike following behind, murmuring under his breath, "You just watch, dude, I'll show you all…"

The brothers settled down on the couch and spread their stuff on the table. Don found the remote and punched a button, and the T.V. came to life. Mike began pouring the milk and cereal as Don flipped the channels and finally settled on the news.

"So Mikey, what possessed you to take up studying again?" Don started curiously.

Mike shrugged his shoulders. "I figured that I needed to hurry up and get smart before I meet that lady again. I don't want her to think I'm dumb."

Don chocked on his mouthful of cereal.

_Might take a little more than just reading up on some phonics books, Mikey…_

Ignoring his uncharitable thought, he replied in a less offending way, "Mikey, I didn't realize you were so into this lady."

Mike sighed. "How's that saying go? 'She's in my blood,' or something like that," he replied as he turned his head back to the T.V.

Don was about to reply when he was distracted by Mike taking his own turn in chocking on **his** mouthful of cereal. Don turned towards the T.V. to see what it was that caught his attention.

A perky young reporter was standing outside the very convent that the brothers had visited the night before. Don reached down and turned the volume up as the reporter started her commentary.

"Yes, Robert, I'm standing in front of the convent of the Sisters of Perpetual Help with a unique story to report. Last night, the unconscious body of an unidentified woman was discovered on the front steps of the convent. According to the sisters, at approximately 11 P.M. the doorbell was rung, and when the sisters opened the front door, they discovered the woman, with some sort of medical dressing on her injured head. At this point, it is unknown if the person or persons responsible for bringing her here were also responsible for injuring her as well…"

"We didn't hurt her, dudette!" Mike screamed at the T.V. as he slammed a fist on the table, which caused all occupants of the table to do a little dance to the vibration. Don patted his brother's shoulder in an effort to calm him as they continued to watch. "Calm down, Mikey. Just watch."

The screen flashed back to Robert, the reporter at the studio. "So Dana, any leads on her identity? What sort of injuries did she sustain?"

The screen flashed back to Dana. "No, Robert, there was no identification found on her person, and so for now, she is referred to as "Jane Doe" by police and medical staff. According to the medical report, she suffered blunt trauma to the head, minor bruising, and a concussion. She remains in stable condition at the hospital, and it will only be a matter of time before Jane Doe will regain consciousness, and hopefully she will be able to inform the police on who attacked her."

Flashing back to Robert: "Dana, you mentioned she was discovered with medical dressing on her head…"

Flashing back to Dana: "Yes, the medical staff confirmed that the trauma to the head was flushed out and stuffed with gauze, and her head was wrapped to secure the gauze. Someone attempted to attend to her injuries shortly before she was discovered and the identity of the person or persons responsible for that, Robert, is unknown as well."

Mike glanced at his brother, who was grinning at the recognition of his handiwork.

Dana sighed and shook her head as she continued, "I'm afraid, Robert, that at this time there are more questions than answers. Unless someone in the public comes forward with information, we must wait for Jane Doe to answer our questions."

Dana paused as she allowed the final part of her commentary feed to the station before finishing. "Live from Manhattan, this is Dana Porche, Channel 3 News. Back to you, Robert…"

Flashing back to Robert: "Thanks Dana, and if any of our viewers have any information concerning this case, please contact the police…"

Don clicked the off button on the remote, and turned to Mike who had resumed wolfing down his cereal, despite the fact that he almost needed the Heimlich maneuver only moments before.

"Too bad the police couldn't identify her, Mikey. That would have sure made your life easier."

Mike paused and turned to Don. "Yeah, but don't worry dude. I'm gonna be ninjaing at the hospital…I'll be able to follow her when she leaves."

Don raised an eye ridge. "'Ninjaing,' Mikey? I'm pretty sure that's not in your phonics book. Is that a 'Mikey' word, by chance?"

Mike put a hand to his mouth and giggled. "Yeah, I just made it up. Pretty cool, huh bro?"

Don shook his head, "Well, it can never be said that you're not creative, Mikey." He stretched back and put his hands behind his head, taking in a deep sigh as he stared off into space. Mike beamed at the compliment and resumed his chow-down of the cereal.

"I must say, these past few days have been anything but dull," Don mused to the tune of Mike munching.

"I am relieved at hearing that, my son," a soft voice carried over to them from the entrance of the lair.

A plume of milk sprayed out of Mike's mouth in response to the surprise of hearing his father's voice, and he began wiping the sides of his mouth in a panic, clearly embarrassed at his messy reaction. Don abandoned his resting position and stood up to greet Splinter as he walked towards them.

A lowing, grumbling sound was then heard from the entrance of the lair, and Don turned towards the mystery sound in an attempt to identify it. The grumbling sound turned into words, and Don realized that he was hearing his brothers conversing under their breaths.

Leo and Raph glared menacingly at each other as they talked, and Don could tell they weren't exchanging compliments. The frustrated look on Leo's face and the sneer on Raph's face gave indication that the differences between the brothers were not resolved at April's farm. He sighed as he realized that life was still going to be hectic around the lair, for surely fireworks were still going to explode between the warring brothers.

Ignoring his brothers for the moment, Don bowed to his father respectively, and nudged Mike to do the same. Taking the cue, Mike abandoned cleaning his mess up and bowed to his father as well. Splinter grinned and returned the bow.

"My sons, I am pleased to see that you are well," he paused as he looked around the lair, "and that the lair was left in one piece."

"Well Sensei, we had a bit of an adventure last night, we rescued…oowww Donnie! Watch where yer steppin'!" Mike looked crossly at Don as he reached down and grabbed his smashed foot that Don had just stepped on 'accidentally.'

Don grinned nervously and continued where Mike left off.

"Yeah, we rescued a lady and **immediately** dropped her off at a safe place."

He glanced nervously at Leo, hoping to make eye contact with his brother. Mike's howl caused the warring brothers to stop and look in Mike's direction curiously. Leo heard the tail end of Don's report, and sensing the nervousness in his brother's voice, realized that it was best to keep his mouth shut on the matter. Leo and Raph didn't mention the contents of the phone call they had with their brother last night with Splinter. Leo knew that if Splinter discovered that Don and Mike brought a human down to the lair, there would be serious consequences, and Leo knew it would be worse than doing flips.

Leo made eye contact with his nervous brother and nodded his head in understanding. Don sighed, realizing that Splinter was clueless; his brother had indeed kept his word. He smiled and nodded back to his brother in thanksgiving.

Splinter eyed Don for a few moments, and even though he realized there was more to the story than was being told, he decided to leave it alone…for now.

Splinter sighed heavily, and as he headed towards his chair, replied, "Well, we will discuss it some more in a little while. Donatello, please fix me a cup of tea, my son."

Don glanced at Leo and Raph and then glanced at Mike and back at Leo and Raph as if to say, "Don't let him say another word!"

Raph got the hint and nodded. "Hey Mikey, did ya burn out tha' Xbox while we were gone?"

Mike grimaced at his throbbing foot and looked up at his brother. His grimace turned into a grin when he spotted the sneer plastered on Raph's face. Encouraged by the sight of his equally crude brother, he replied, "Naw, but I almost melted the toilet last night with one of my world-famous killer poops!"

Raph laughed hardily at his brother's crude accomplishment, but Leo crossed his arms in disapproval.

"Don't start with that kind of talk, Mikey. You know Splinter doesn't approve of that…"

"Shaddup tight-wad. Wadda ya expect, he's a kid," Raph interjected Leo's lecture.

Leo turned on his brother. "Yes, and 'who' encourages him to talk like that?"

Raph waved a hand, dismissing his brother's observation. "Ya need ta loosen up, Leo. Yer not exactly scorin' brownie points wit' anyone round heah'…" Raph paused as he nudged a shoulder in Splinter's direction, "'cept fer Splinter, that is."

Leo bit his lower lip, and suppressing his rising anger, headed for his room. Hearing Raph go on would have led to a fight, and Leo didn't want that to happen.

Raph watched as his brother retreated to his room, and unlike his brother, he didn't succeed in suppressing his rising sarcasm.

"Yeah, thas' right. Go ta ya room, baby. Wouldn't wanna taint those pure ears of yers wit' our 'crudeness,' eh?" Raph chuckled at his own words, and not missing a beat, walked over to Mike and put him in one of his world-famous head locks. Mike began to scream his high-pitched girlie scream as Raph stared to walk towards Mike's room, with Mike still caught in Raph's vice grip. "C'mon loudmouth, let's go ta ya room before ya get us all in trouble," Raph muttered under his breath to his protesting brother.

"Hey Raph, c'mon, lemme go! Hey, ooowww! My foot! Ahhh…Donnie…help!" Mike screamed as Raph pushed him into his own room.

Don returned to Splinter's side with the freshly made cup of tea, and they both watched Raph grin as he closed the door, muffling Mike's frantic screams of protest.

"Oiy, kids…" Splinter muttered as he rolled his eyes and took a refreshing sip of his tea.

Don sat down next to his father and took a sip of his own cup of tea. He was glad to relax in the peaceful presence of his father. But that was about to change…

"So, my son, tell me about this rescue," Splinter started quietly, his eyes sparkling with interest and his tail whipping around in anticipation.

Don chocked on his tea and looked warily at Splinter.

_Oh man…why is it always me?_

* * *

My muses are refusing to let this story die. I'm kicking and screaming in protest, and they take no heed…they give me no pity…

Yep, another chapter coming up…sigh

Thanks for reading and don't forget to review, folks!


	9. Epilogue

In case I have to state this again: I do not own the Turtles or Splinter, I own Samantha, Amy and any other original characters that may appear.

Italics are characters' thoughts.

* * *

**Epilogue**

Amy stared blankly at the magazine in her hands and tugged absent-mindedly at her béret. She had been here for a few hours and yet, her friend wasn't stirring. Impatiently, she leaned over and gave her friend a hard nudge on the shoulder.

"Come on, Samantha, for cryin' out loud, wake up so we can get outta here!" she hissed. Samantha lay as still as she was before and Amy sat back in her seat disgusted. Amy began tapping her foot as she tried to think of a way to rouse her friend. Her eyes lit up as she began to rummage through her backpack. Her fingers found what they searched for and she pulled out a chocolate bar. Grinning, she murmured, "Ah, you know you can't resist this!"

She broke off a piece and slowly began waving it under Samantha's nose. A nostril twitched, then an eyebrow, and finally a low hum escaped her lips. Her eyes flickered open as she stared at the blurred hand in front of her face, teasing her with the piece of heavenly delight.

"What tha' heck?" she asked as she scooted up in the bed and put a hand instinctively to her head.

Amy grinned and withdrew the chocolate from her face and stuffed it in her own.

"You want full story or the highlights?" she said through smacking on the chocolate.

Samantha eyed the chocolate in her hand and snatched a piece. "Highlights will be fine," she said, shoving the chocolate into her mouth greedily.

Amy leaned forward and said, "You were attacked by someone, you hit your head on something or someone hit you in the head with something, then someone apparently tried to take care of you by patching up your head, then someone dropped you off with the nuns down the street."

Samantha stared blankly at her friend as she tried to make sense of what was just said.

"That sure is a lot of some ones," she said while scratching her head, "so I take it no one knows who any of those some ones are?"

Amy shook her head. "No, we were kinda hoping you'd be able to fill us in."

Samantha glared at the bright sunlight pouring through the window. Turning away she sighed, "I don't think I'd be much help. I don't remember too much other than maybe running into some creeps on the street, but other than that, I'm a total blank."

Amy grabbed for her backpack again and began pulling out clothes as Samantha finished off the last of the chocolate bar.

"Here," she said as she went to close the door, "put on these clothes so we can make like trees and leave."

Samantha pulled her hospital gown over her head and laughed, "did anybody tell you that you come up with the corniest lines?" She snickered as she pulled the shirt over her head, "I hope you don't use that on any of the guys you meet at the bars."

Amy rolled her eyes as she walked to the door to scope out the hall. Samantha finished pulling her boots up and glanced at herself in the mirror. The gauze and tape that was secured to her head stuck out like a nun in a brothel.

"Oh great," she moaned, "what are we gonna do about this? I can't walk down the hall like this, I'll get busted."

Amy walked back to where Samantha was standing and looked at Samantha's reflection. Samantha began removing the gauze and tape, revealing a swollen and bruised gash that had been neatly stitched up. "Oh yeah, now THAT'S even better," Samantha said sarcastically.

"Hmm, you're right," she mused and then got a grin on her face as she looked at her own reflection, "perhaps this will do."

Amy removed her béret and handed it to Samantha.

Smiling, Samantha carefully placed the béret over the top of her forehead, covering the gash perfectly. She was hardly recognizable as the beat up girl lying helplessly on the steps of the convent the night before.

Amy walked to the door one more time and peered through the window, satisfied at what she observed.

"The coast is clear, let's roll," she said as she opened the door.

Both women stepped confidently into the hall and made their way to the elevator.

* * *

"….and that's where we left her last night, Master Splinter," Don finished the story with a tired sigh. He took the last sip of his tea and looked warily towards Splinter, who was staring down into his cup.

He took a nervous gulp and said, "Well, Sensei?"

Splinter looked up and stared passively at his son, "I have instructed all of you in how I wish you all to handle rescues, and one of the main rules was to not bring anyone down to the lair anymore…"

"But, Sensei," Don started but was stopped by a crooked finger held up by Splinter.

"…..as it is imperative to our secrecy and security that no one else knows of our whereabouts," he continued after taking a sip of his tea, "and last night you and Michelangelo broke that rule."

Don, having lost the will to defend his actions, hung his head as Splinter continued.

"However, it seems as if you both were lucky in which the young lady was not revived, and was brought back to the surface without knowing of us or our lair." Splinter smiled and continued, "It appears that luck was on your side, my son, but I hope that you do not test that luck again in the future."

Don raised his head and smiled sheepishly, "I hope not, Sensei, I hope not."

Splinter stretched a hand and patted his son affectionately on the arm.

Mike's door swung open, breaking the peace that settled on the lair with Don's and Splinter's conversation. Mike bounded out of the room followed very closely by the angry bellowing of Raph, "You cheated, Mikey!"

Mike made a beeline for the coats and hats hanging by the ladder, giggling all the way, and scaled towards the freedom he wished to gain quickly with outfit in hand.

Splinter opened his mouth to call to Mike, but knew it would be in vain. "Kids," he sighed as he sat back in his chair.

Leo emerged from the dojo and confronted Raph as he came stomping out of Mike's room.

"Raph, do you think you could have some consideration and remember that there are other people that live here and all that screaming of yours is very disturbing," Leo said matter-of-factly as he put his hands to his hips.

Raph sneered, "Aw, did fearless leader not get enough butt whippin'? I'll be glad to give ya some more if ya want!"

Fuming, Leo stepped aside and made his way back to the dojo. He stopped at the entrance and turned, waiting for Raph to follow.

Raph followed very quickly and soon the dojo was filled with grunts and screams as the two brothers began battling it out.

Splinter listened helplessly, "Perhaps I should retire and move permanently to the farmhouse, it's much quieter there when I'm alone."

Don shook in his seat. "Not alone, Sensei, you'd have to take me with you, there's no way you're leaving me with those three nuts!"

* * *

Surprised that he wasn't being followed by one of his brothers, Mike donned his hat and coat as he began cutting through tunnels.

"They must have all decided to attack Raph," Mike chuckled at the thought.

Stopping at a cross point, he made his way up one of the ladders, listened carefully, and slowly lifted the man hole cover as he began to search for a street sign.

His eyes soon found what they searched for, and pushing the cover over, he emerged in a side alley unnoticed.

_Good, only two blocks to go, and I'll be there….__**she'll**__ be there._

He casually blended in with foot traffic on the sidewalk as he made his way to his destination.

* * *

Samantha stood in front of the hospital map and scratched her throbbing head as Amy leaned over pointing helplessly at the 'you are here' mark, equally bewildered.

"It's a good thing the hospital isn't on fire, otherwise we'd burn before we could get out," Samantha muttered. "Any clue?" she asked, glancing at Amy.

"Nope, but when in doubt, it's always better to ask." Not wanting to ask a nurse for fear of causing suspicion, she spotted a frisky candy striper walking along the corridor. "Excuse me!" Amy called, rushing to catch the spunky lady by the arm. The candy striper stopped and smiled at her, pleased to be of assistance.

"Yes, young lady?" she said, her face wrinkling up with delight.

Amy blushed, "My friend and I are a bit unsure where the exit is, could you point the way out of this maze?"

"Why certainly!" she turned around and pointed at the big sign that said 'Exit.'

Amy frowned at the lighted neon sign that stared down at her. It seemed to mock her saying, "I was here all along, you idiot!"

Samantha grabbed Amy's arm and smirked, "Plain as the nose on my face. If it was a snake, it'd have bitten us." The two walked arm in arm as they made their way to the big doors that led out onto the street.

Mike's palms started to break out in a prickly sweat as he was approaching the front of the hospital doors. He stopped before reaching the doors, stood there nervously looking to and fro, and finally sat down on a bench nearby. He absent-mindedly watched as some people walked by as his mind began racing, causing his overly-damp palms to break out in a sweat that would rival Niagara Falls.

_What am I doing? Even IF I find her in there, what am I gonna say? 'It was nice rescuing you and by the way, do you think I'm cute, cuz I think you're the most beautiful and awesomist …is that really a word? Awesomist?...anyway..girl…no, lady, that I've ever seen and I want to you to come live with me in the sewers because I'm madly in love with you.' Yeah, right._

Mike glanced up and watched the door swing to and fro as people came and went.

_If I don't find her now, I may never see her again._

Tears began to form in his eyes at the thought. He looked up again and noticed more people walking out. Suddenly, he saw it. The familiar white streak of hair, barely noticeable by a béret covering the top of her head, stood out like a lighthouse on a foggy coastline. But it was there, in all its tale-tail beauty, and he knew in an instant that it belonged to her.

_This is it! This is it! Go get 'er, dude!_

Mike tried to wipe his palms of the accumulated sweat on his sides and jumped up, trying not to make it obvious that he was a bit too eager to catch up with her. She and the girl she was with seemed oblivious to their surroundings as he made his way up to them. Knowing that he couldn't follow them for long without drawing attention to himself, he realized that it was now or never, so he cleared his throat and said, "Excuse me!"

Samantha and Amy stopped and turned at the voice. With the fedora and trench coat, he looked rather…detective-like…causing Amy to gulp and Samantha to instinctively draw the béret farther over her stitches. "Yes?" Samantha asked, trying to remain calm.

"I…uh…um…are you um…"

_Yesssssssss, that's some winning vocabulary there, Mikey! She's gonna throw herself at you for sure…_

Mike began blushing and nervously rubbing his palms on his sides again. Amy and Samantha's uneasiness began to subside.

_If he's a cop, he's definitely a rookie…__**if**__ he's a cop at all…_

Samantha began waving her hands dismissively and smirked, "No, I'm not Kim Kardashian, but I'll sign something for you so you can brag to all your friends that you met her."

Mike stared at her and blurted out loud, "Wow, babe, you're beautiful AND witty. I love you even more now!"

Samantha smiled, totally relaxed now, "No, seriously…I'm not Kim. Not even close, sadly."

Mike snapped out of his stare and started laughing. "You're **better** than Kim, dudette! I'm Mikey the awesomist Ninja Tur-…uh…never mind. I'm Mikey, and I'm _totally_ in love with you, babe! So, uh, what's your name?"

"Wow Mikey, you sure do know how to flatter a lady," Samantha said, smiling and turning a bit rosy, "I'm Samantha."

"_Samantha…I just met a girl named Samantha_," Mike began singing as he dropped to one knee, holding a hand over his heart and the other extended towards Samantha.

Amy started laughing as Samantha's face turned blood red with embarrassment. "Okay, Romeo, that's enough. No serenading on the street. If you keep it up, you'll draw a crowd."

Mike stopped and stood up, completely consumed in his puppy love. "You're right; I wouldn't want anyone else to notice you… I want you all for myself."

The dryness of Amy's pants was in serious jeopardy as another wave of laughter came over her. "Seriously, I'm starting to feel like I'm the 'three' in 'three's a crowd.' I'll, uh, leave you two love birds alone. See ya back at the studio, Samantha. Don't do anything I would do," she said, winking devilishly as she started walking away.

Samantha watched her friend walk off, and then turned back to Mike, who stood there with the biggest pair of puppy dog eyes she's ever seen. Mike was obviously young, but how young? And what's with the green face mask and orange bandana…oh, and the fedora hat and well-worn trench coat? Is he a Halloween freak that can't quite accept the fact that you can only dress up one day a year?

Ignoring what she took for an odd combination and choice of costume apparel, she decided to play along.

_Regardless of how young and obviously eccentric and over the top and…well, he seems to be harmless and amusing and brave…and…good grief, I don't even know this guy and I'm singing his praises. What am I doing?_

"So tell me, Mikey, is it a habit of yours to go up to strangers on the street and declare your undying love for them, or was I just a random pick of the flock?"

_Now we're getting down to business…_

Mike smiled, "No way, dudette, not random at all! I sorta know you, even though you don't know me."

Samantha cocked an eyebrow. "Really, how's that?"

_Gah, I hope he's not some kind of voyeur or peeping tom…or stalker._

"Well, you see…" Mike started, trying to figure out how to explain, "um, you just got out of the hospital, right?"

"Uh, maybe." Samantha started to get a creepy feeling and decided to go as neutral as possible with her answer.

Mike, picking up on her hesitation, decided to spill the beans without holding anything back.

"Well you see, I'm a mutated humanoid turtle…and a ninja…and I've got 3 brothers just like me, and well, my brother Don and I were walking around last night when we ran across you getting attacked by a bunch of creeps and we saved you from them but not before you got that big gash on your forehead and so we had to take you back to our lair and Don stitched you up and we brought you to the nuns' house down the street so they could take care of you and bring you to the hospital and so I'm here because I wanted to see you again so I could tell you that I love you."

Mike panted as he managed to explain in one breath, albeit too fast for Samantha to understand it all. Samantha stood with mouth slightly ajar, not quite sure where to start.

_Mutated humanoid turtle? Um, yeaaaaaaaaaah. Let's just ignore that one. For now._

"So you and your brother saved me?" Samantha started, "I was being attacked?"

"Yep, we both fought, but I kicked the most bad guy booty," Mike beamed.

Samantha laughed. "You're nuts, but I like you."

Mike's eyes grew wide. "RRRRREEAALLY? You like me? YES YES YES!" Mike began parading around, pumping his fists in the air, then stopped, sporting his puppy dog eyes again. "But wait…only _like_?"

Samantha walked up to him and put her hands on his shoulders. "Well I guess I should be madly in love with you since you saved my life and all, it should be the least I could do…right?"

Mike began quivering under the weight of her hands, but tried to keep a false sense of bravado alive. "Well yeah, I am your hero after all."

Samantha bent down, pulled the fedora up slightly and kissed Mike lightly on the forehead. "Thanks, Mikey. I owe you big time."

Breathless, Mike began to feel dizzy and reached out to the wall for support. "Did…did you just kiss me?"

Samantha smiled as she turned and started walking away, giggling under her breath.

Mike snapped upright and reached out for her, gasping, "Wait, wait! I wanna see you again! Please! I have to see you again! You can't just kiss me like that and leave me forever!"

Samantha stopped and turned around.

_Haha, he really is a drama queen! Should I tell him how to find me? Can I trust him? He's just a harmless guy, right? _

"Do you know where Greek Goddess Studio is?"

Mike's head started spinning as his mind began racing to find the answer.

"Um, yeah…yeah…I know where it is!"

Samantha smiled. "Stop by and see me some time, Hero."

She blew him a kiss, then turned around and walked away, quickly blending in with the mass of people walking on the sidewalk.

Mike 'caught' the kiss and pressed his hand to his heart, sighing heavily as he watched her walk away with a hopeful gleam in his puppy dog eyes.

Life is good. It's even better with love in your heart…

…and Greek Goddess Studio around the corner_**.**_

_**The End**_

* * *

FINALLY! 6 years this story has been waiting to be completed. My apologies for the wait. Thanks to all that have read my 1st fanfic. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Dunno if they'll be a sequel, I have other stories to finish before I dare to work on any new stories. All I can say is stay tuned!


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